self reflection

Hmm...life is really unpredictable...received a news last night from a friend that her granny just passed away...
Whenever my friends tell me that their granny passed away...I'd be fearful of the day when my granny has to go too....My granny can be considered one of the most important people in my life and I was all stuck to her when I was young...I'll always sit by the windows and wait for her to come back if she were to go out till late at night....And I'll start to worry when she didn't come back on time...
The main reason I moved back to stay with my parents is also because her. I know I can't be so attached to her or I'll definitely be devastated the moment she leaves....Wierd right??
I'm one kind of wierd person that worries about things that have not taken place...Cry before spilling the milk...

It's a habit of mine to do a self-reflection once in a while..especially when people commented about me...
Someone commented that I'm AGGRESSIVE...have you guys ever realised that??
Or have I become aggressive ever since I started working??
Apart from being aggressive, I'm hot-headed, impulsive and quick-tempered.
My friends decribed me as "sweet, cheerful and friendly" in my friendster testimonials...
I turned out to be the exact opposite...so far apart from my looks...
At work, people decribed me as "dao", "that proud and arrogant, overly-confident look...always ready to pick a fight with whoever steps on my tail"......

Maybe that's why my superiors doesn't seemed to like me...maybe that's why my relationships never work out...maybe...that's why my interpersonal relationships always have hiccups.

My over-protective nature keeps me on guard with a shield...and I'm constantly feeling insecure...Maybe it's best to be alone and not pull anyone into the dark, endless pit....where I've been hiding...