House Completed and Wedding Stuff

It's finally done, after dragging it for 6 weeks. Supposed to be completed in a months time but there were way too many unforseen circumstances that hindered the renovation progress. I began to feel some cosiness in the house with the arrival of some electricals.

It's really a good learning experience for Mr. P and myself. Terms like "laminates", "solid surface", "pelmet", "plaster board", "feature wall" etc are being used so commonly. "Property tax", "TV license", "conservatory charges" are also being added to my dictionary.

We started the clean up over the weekend and today, my princess hands are being worn out by broken skins.. :( . This is just the first chapter of the sacrifice...I guess this is just part of married life...

Apart from going to and fro my new house, I was also busy with my guest lists. The sad part is.. I denounced a friend ( technically 3 friends ) in the process.

Q been asking for my wedding date umpteen times. The last time was 1 week before my formal verbal invitation. That was the 3rd time. I chided her online when she asked me for the date, saying that she needs to plan her holidays. I claimed that it was a double date, supposed to be very easy to remember. Furthermore, I expected more from her since she my friend of 16 years. When I started my mass messaging a week later, she did not reply till 3 days later. She was away from a holiday with Y ( her bf ) and J ( her best friend ), both whom are my guests. So Q represented the other 2 and told me that they could not make it for my big day because they have planned a trip to Bali and could not cancel the trip because they are travelling in a group of 10. Damn! So what's the point of asking for my wedding date when they have no intention to remember the date? So what happened to the other 2? They just kept mum.

This totally pissed me off. I can understand when people can't turn up when they have their holidays planned. What I can't stand is that she is the only friend that asked me so many times, don't bother to remember and planned her holiday on that date. The best part is that 3 of them can't turn up and I do not want to invite a few others whom I planned to seat them with. They might get bored.

This incident was the final straw to how Q regarded me as a friend... There were previous incidents that made me wonder if it's worth keeping this friendship. The most unforgettable incident was once she made an appointment with me for dinner in town. Knowing that she has the habit of being late, I asked her to let me know what roughly what time she'll arrive. After 2 SMSes and 1 missed call, I decided to walk around our meeting place first. She SMSed me 10 min later saying that she just woke up and would not be meeting me WITHOUT ANY APOLOGY. I left town in anger and hunger. After this incident, we stayed out of contact for a year or so, till she asked me out occasionally for meals. I did not bring out my displeasure over the incident anymore till the day she informed me that she'll be absent. Her last sms was "I'm sorry if I've made you feel this way ( disregarded ). I left it as it is, and in my heart, she's no longer there. This has upset me a few days I'm not sure why. On top of that people whom I wished to attend couldn't make it, rubbing it in.

After a few days of cooling down, I began to feel happy that those whom I did not expect to turn up had actually made time for it. But I'm prepared to get some last minute absentees. The problem with me is that I tend to take things to personally. And I'm too pessimisstic. I should learn to appreciate those who make effort to turn up instead of dwelling on those who are insincere. To me, being present is important, but it's the thought that counts most.

I would only enjoy the day if my guests do too.

When 2 become 1

We had our usually gatherings at my grandma house on the 1st day of CNY. I'm always the first to arrive followed by my cousins, who would bring their spouses along. This year was different. Sis ( my cousin ) did not bring hers along. All of my aunts asked her why but her answer was soft and reluctant," Oh he went to visit his friends ". Sensing something fishy, I approached her at a corner and asked the same question. " He probably would never come with me anymore..." was her reply.

Still in disbelief, I asked if they had a fight. She told me they had "everything settled" and waiting to move back with her parents. He initiated it. This was worse than I thought. I was supposed to keep mum about this matter to all our family members that were present. As I attempted to offer some consolation, she revealed that she was feeling fine, relieved, in fact. And that she expected this day even on the day of her marriage. It just happened that this guy came along and there was not much of an option and they were so used to each other that they decided to try living their lives together. And they had to end this after 6-7 years? 

This is certainly not the most pleasant things to hear before I get hitched. My colleague used to ask me this question a few months before her wedding, " How do you know if you've found the right man?" My reply was," It not a matter of finding the right man ( cos u'll never know ), but how to make your man the right one." It was so easy to let those words flow out... But not when you are applying it to yourself.

Marriage, to me is also a gamble. You'll never know if it'll work out until you really try. No other kinds of love, other than maternal love is everlasting. Feelings fade. Honeymoon periods pass. And that's why people who were so deeply in love during their vows exchange end up in divorces years later. What were the main reasons? Money? Personality clashes? Extra marital affairs? When u are in love all these money issues can be sorted out, differences can be overcome. But when feelings diminish.. everything becomes a problem, an excuse, a reason to break away from each other. 

So what's in for a marriage? Commitment, responsibility, acceptance and ethics. Will a different form of love evolve to replace that kind of Lovey Dovey Love? What is your take?

Preparing for our New Home

I'm gonna be a proud owner of this 5-room flat in 5 days time! Everything just comes like a breeze... Love and I are busy shopping around comparing prices of everything.. from big to small in order to fufill our wishes with a tight pockets. But it's real fun and lots of things to discover.. as we do our window shopping.. we get to see things going cheaper and cheaper. I can imagine how our house is gonna be like..We already got a sofa at a good bargain ( I think ) and we just got a painting at a pretty reasonable price too! Can't wait for the shops to be open from the CNY holidays so that we can continue our search for furniture....

Venturing towards a New stage of Life

For those of you who are still unaware... I've gotten a flat! And it remains in the East...yeah~~~ But it's more eastern than my current house... Simei.... Mr. P and I couldn't believe that we actually managed to secure a unit even though our queue number was horrible... 430.. but I've got friends whose given 1000+, 6000+ as queue numbers and didn't even get an appointment with HDB.. so we were considered quite fortunate. It was a resale flat from HDB which is about 20 years-old so we got it at the market price without overevaluation. It isn't the best time to buy an apartment now though but at least we found our love nest...:)

Getting the keys in 3 months time and we are currently busy sourcing out contractors to compare quotes... Its a really different stage of life where I invariably begin to feel "old".. doing "adult" stuff like these and all the commitments and responsibilities are slowly crawling on my shoulders...

It's gonna be an upcoming stressful 6 months with assignments and exams, targets to achieve at work and new tehcniques to implement, wedding preparations, house renovations, emotional adaptations to a new life partner instead of my parents... and the sad part about weaning off my sheltered life... stepping into a world of cooking, household chores( which has never been a part of my 26-year life ), and most importantly... a big hole in my pocket!!!

What would my life be like a year from now? Do I get the chance to dive again? In Maldives? Would I be able to cook like my mum? The mixed feelings of apprehension and excitement soars in once in a while.. making me melancholic...

How did everyone do it? To be so heavily in debt to the government, banks yet able to own their own car and drive around like there's no tomorrow, own their own flat and spend like nobody's business?

I guess I'll know it when it comes... and live my life like everyone. If you can do it.. so can I.