Busy, sick, insomnia

I didn't realised that I can be such a workaholic...Or probably a way to drown off my sorrows..
If I've nothing on after work, I'll stay in the facility to reply work emails cos I seldom get to sit down at my table. There are times I was busy and my temper grew....My face got black...not a very nice sight for colleagues to see. But I'm grateful that they know I'm serious when I got down to work and they accepted my temperment. Actually, I felt happy when I'm kept busy... but I don't seemed to get tire out..or at least, my brain has been active these days...Not very good because I couldn't sleep well. Woke up 2-3 times in the middle of the night and unhappy things would appear in my mind again...but I guess life is getting a little calmer for me....
Caught a cold lately, my nose would either run or block, have been breathing thru my mouth these days. Guess my brain din receive enough oxygen, result in headaches.
But i rather keep myself busy than to take MC....
Was a little upset today by a colleague who seemed to take me for granted. I've been covering some of her work for about 3 weeks because for valid reasons. But now she's back to handle her stuff yet she expected me to do...Well, that's not really her stuff, it's our stuff...but I just can't accept it when she conveniently placed the form on my table and expected me to do it...I don't mind doing it, just that I hated it when people take my help for granted...Of course, I refused to do it...and expressed my displeased in a light-hearted way...The other colleague realised that she was a bit too far and chided her. They realised that I was pissed...but that gal left a blunt comment that makes me really upset...
We still talked as usual over lunch and I thought I might be too petty...eventually, helped her to run that errand in the end...
I'm looking forward to a break...or rather a short getaway off S'pore...had been planning trips but nothing seemed to work out...I need to dive....into the paradise where it's a totally different world.

Loads of eating and fun....I'm lucky

So, although I din managed to celebrate my birthday with my soulmate...I did have a happy birthday..
In fact celebration started on the 8th (Friday) all the way to the 11th (Monday).
8/11 (Fri): Since my parents were all born in the month of July, this family friend treated all of us to this chinese restaurant situated in the newly renovated Marina Square called some Imperial thing...But the food there was good and special. Had a sumptous meal though feeling a little moody.

9/7 (Sat): Things brighten up a little when ZZ brought me to the animal shelter to walk the dogs, the other friend couldn't make it last minute. There were so many dogs there as well as cats. I walked 2 dogs, the first one was a cocker spaniel and the second one was a much bigger dog...think he was walking me instead.
But I somehow still prefer the cats...they are all very friendly..they loved my shoes and all of them would crowd around my shoes and have a good sniff and snuggle. They are warmer than my snobbish Baby. Simply love'em
Afterwhich ZZ wanted to celebrate my bd for me so treated me to a movie: Romasanta-the werewolf hunt and Haagen Daz.
In the evening, I went to a colleague's chalet. In the midst of the BBQ, Michelle, whose birthday fell on this day, HQ and YS drove down to look for me just to cut the cake together. I was supposed to celebrate my birthday with Michelle had I not gone down to the chalet. They left for KTV while I stayed over at the chalet.

10/7 (Sun): Had breakfast with Jean and AL at Mac before going home. Met KT, who wanted to give me a treat at 3pm at BREEKS! in Ngee Ann City. She bought me a pair of earrings too! Weijie couldn't join us for lunch so we met for a drink. Met Qi for dinner at Crystal Jade...And it was a birthday treat too! She suggested to go for coffee at BakerzInn. Wanted to sit in but she insisted on sitting out..i tot she wanted smoke so I refused. She managed to come out with an excuse saying it was cold so I gave in.... She went to the counter to give her orders and came out with a slice of mango cake with a candle on it. I was surprised...well, it never occur to me what she was up to and that was the reason for sitting outside. Though it was a small surprise, it meant a lot to me. :)

11/07 (Mon): Went to work as usual, but in a very foul mood...maybe it was Monday blues~~~
Received a gift from my dear colleagues..Got a surprise mini celebration at the pantry...tho the person who tricked me din really do a good job, I still feel thankful.
Met ASHL for dinner at this very nice restaurant in club street behind china square...wow I din know that the ambience there is so nice, peaceful and quiet...Enough of Bugis and Orchard...
This restaurant called Windows serves nice Western cuisine at affordable prices. It seemd that we'd booked the whole restaurant because we were the only patrons then. However, the service can still be improved. The place was lit with candles but the music doesn't seemed to suit the atmosphere..we had a great time though.. I received a watersports wear to put on under my wetsuit when diving. Got another slice of cake wif candle that was complimentary upon request my the gals.

----End of Birthday Celebration----

Turning point

I've not felt this way ever since 2001....it's like de ja vu...losing a soulmate is as good as losing your soul...it's difficult now because I've to act tough and pretend as if nothing has happened in front of the ppl who cared for me. There things that I couldn't tell...

Guess I'd be spending the saddest birthday this year...
Given up a chance to spend it with the special someone, because I know it'd turn out to be a dream. If I were to turn up for the dinner, it'd be harder to let go after that... No doubt many friends are gonna celebrate it for me over the weekends, I was hoping to spend it with my soulmate...

I'm quite touched that many groups of friends make the effort to ask me out to celebrate, having no choice but to turn a few down...I know ppl there care about me, but it's up to myself ultimately to fight against my own emotions. There's a limit to care and help...Pple are too busy these days....Never expected things to turn out so painful.

Other than my heart, my lower back and right knee is aching.
Dad gave me a hard massage and found the sore sites in my bones and joints. Both occur on my right leg. Think I've been walking or standing too much at work. I'm still so young yet I felt that my body machinery is wearing out. My back hurts when it arches as I lie down or when I'm seated. My knee hurts when I walk...Sounds like I can't walk, sit nor sleep. :)

It's actually not that bad afterall...just minor aches that disturbs a little...I still function normally... what are these physical aches as compared to emotional torture?

I must free myself in a few weeks time....That's when my sea expedition comes in.

downhill

Things have never been worse for me ever since last week. Got badly hurt by some major event.... on top of that, my dear colleagues have moved to the other dept, leaving me lost for a day or 2...the whole place was so quiet and most people are new... But i guess, or I hope, things are turning better as the week approaches...gonna take a short break- half-a-day to rejuvenate myself and get out of some shit I'd gotten myself into...
Was so depressed that i had no mood to work, yet I can't afford not leave work now.. good friend of mine advised me to see a doc and get some anti-depressant...was tempted to but think i'm too egoistic to let the doctor know how weak and vulnerable I can be, emotionally...

Baby's recovered now, can eat and walk and even jump...very happy for her...

How i wished I can be like her....