Pig reflection

*sigh*..time to do self reflection again....this usually takes place when i find that the whole world finds me disagreeable.
A close colleague of mine is leaving soon...we used to be quite close...but we've drifted apart...She always tell people that I'm her "daughter"...because she found that we share similar traits. However, I'd been too occupied with work these months that I hardly get to interact with her. As a result, she seemed to get closer to 2 other colleagues. Many a time, I wanted to spend some time talking to her....but whenever I manage to find time to rest a while, she's knock off.
I'm upset with her because she did not give me an answer whether she'll be at working on her last day as she has taken a few days off prior to that. I understand her reason was to not get too attached to the few of us who's been working with her for quite a while. But rationally speaking, she should at least let us be prepared so that we can re-allocate our duties in her absence.
With one man down, I can foresee the hectic schedule coming ahead...Was kinda worried that it's gonna be really busy and my problem will rise again...My body no longer allows me to work as aggressively as in the past. Did mention my worries to a fellow colleague...but she keep saying that I "worry too much" and been too "stressed out".... I didn't feel good about her comments because
I'm seldom stressed by work....I admit that I'm tired physically, but I'm still mentally relaxed....My main worry is my hip more than anything else because the ache was just unbearable, especially when I'm seated...
So we had a long sms debate over this. Just feel that she doesn't really understand..reason being...she's a little laid-back...not lazy..but she takes things in her stride...and she's not too bothered about how others feel...she's the "slow and steady" type...
As for me, I'm more aggressive, result-orientated and too bothered by people..the "time is money" type....
I seek perfection and set high expectations for myself...even higher than those that ppl set for me.... In a way...that's kinda stupid,
cos I often get disppointments...but i find it hard to change...that's just me...
Talking about disappointment.... was disappointed when a friend made me expect a call but didn't call in the end....it was nothing important..and it was a trivial matter...but I just don't like it when people say things they don't mean, no matter how small the issue is....when u promise something, try to keep it...when u say something, try to do it. I know someone who keeps every word he says...strictly....and he earns a bit of my respect.
So...have these people really stepped on my feet? Or am I too serious, petty, narrow-minded...I just can't help taking people's word too seriously....
Ought to be thankful that my friends accepted me for who I am...Why am I still expecting so much from them?

Yu's 21st birthday gift

My weeks of planning has finally come to fruition...
This little surprise for Yu was intended as her 21st birthday gift.
Got her blinded folded in ZQ's car and brought her to the aquarium to dive with the dugong and other marine mammals.
On our way, we picked up LQ and HJ dicreetly without her knowledge..We made her think that 3 of us were going for a picnic..
Yu's boyfriend, Tat was already there. When her blindfold was removed and found herself at the aquarium, she looked a little disappointed cos Tat brought her there 3 days ago...

"Oh, this time is different, you'll go in dry but come out wet..."said LQ...Yu got our hint and couldn't believe her ears. She appeared very nervous and apprehensive as she's not been diving for 8 months... Though we keep convincing her that she would have a good time in there, her signs of tension were apparent when LQ and I accompanied her backstage to get her prepared for her dive : extremely quiet ( for someone so yakky ), trembling hands and distraught expression...
I began to doubt myself and wonder if my surprise has backfired...Have I given her more stress and fear than surprise?
She got into the water with the DM soon after and we stood at the glass, watching her, taking videos. To my disappointment, pictures didn't turn out good because of the glass reflection. Crowds swamp around us and took pictures of the divers rather than fishes. Though a little lost, Yu managed to adapt herself to the ocean of creatures swimming around her...

I heaved a sigh of relief when I saw how much she enjoyed feeding the rays and wrasses. She even waved to us through the glass windows...
We proceed to cut the cake after her shower and went on the play the LUGE. It was all-new experience for all of us as well and we managed to hop on the chairlift to bring us up after each ride.
We gave the dolphin lagoon a miss and brought 2 loaves of bread to feed the kois. We left as the sun began to set....ZQ drop us off to have dinner at a Vietnamese restaurant.
To Yu, this day was an unforgettable....

Adding to my Pain

Our arguement ended not long ago...Instead of joining them in front of the television, I cooped myself here with instant noodles as my company....
I'm already in pain...and they just have to show their "concern" to me this way.

For the past 4 months, my muscles that sit deeply into my right hip aches whenever I walk too much or stand too long. And the frequency gets higher and higher; from once a few days to everyday now. And the occurence gets earlier and earlier; used to ache in the evening, then afternoon and now, it's 2 hours into work. Frankly, it always happens on working days. This problem bothers me because it affects my efficiency and productivity at work. I feel really lousy when my body grows tired and have to get people to run errands for me... I love to multi-task..but I can't seemed to achieve that lately.Was told to see the doctor but I thought it was too trivial to consult one, till I started limping a little today at work.

I made this known to my folks 2 months back. Dad offered to gave me a massage. It worked very well, caused it disperses the pain. But it keeps recurring so he insisted that he should do it for me till I fully recover.
But of course, everytime I would groan throughout the whole session...complained that I don't want anymore massage again.

There were times that I came back feeling achy, but I just didn't want to disturb Dad from his favourite programs. I can't possibly bother him everyday right..I mean, how can a daughter ask for a massage from her Dad? Eventually, my parents thought that my problem has subsided.

This morning, I kinda mentioned it to my mum....told her that it's back because I hardly have a chance to sit down at work. She just questioned me innocently with a tinge of hidden sacarsm, " Huh, it's impossible what, I used to walk the whole day in the past when I was working in the restaurant...How come I don't have this problem?" I felt very bitter.... so does she think I'm useless and incapable of hard work? They have this habit of condemning youngsters..and I'm part of it.

I consulted Dr. Lee before coming home just now. I was diagnosed with muscle spasms around my lower right limb. Due to toxin accumulation, my aches come more frequent. Gave me some muscle relaxant and some anti-toxins. Though my gut feeling tells me that medicine doesn't help, I'm just relieved that it wasn't some major problem....But I was warned that if I don't get it properly treated, it may last forever.

Dr. Lee also advised me on my sleeping and standing postures and encouraged me to go swimming more often....Thrice a week..."once a week is not enough" :(

The moment I stepped into the house just now, Mum conveniently put the responsibility on my skates..." I know why you are suffering from aches...you must have fell while skating...etc..." I couldn't help but raised my voice, " I know my body.... how could it arise from skating when I already felt it 4 months back??? I took up skating only a fortnight ago!" She kept mum as soon as she sense my displeasure... In fact, I was more disappointed than angry... She's still not convinced I got it from work.

Dad was there listening all this while and began siding my Mum... " Told you that u need a massage till you fully recover...but u refused and kept complaining that it's painful... so now it's even worse... if u had listened to me earlier........*nag* *nag*"..Believe it or not...my dad can nag more than my mum..

" I didn't say I dun want...I only said it's painful!" I rebuked... it's just natural to complain abt the pain when one feels painful right?

" You should seek my help and not me seeking u and ask if u need one..." He's tone always sounds like he's pushing all the blame on me and I deserved all this. Not that I don't wanna seek help from him...I just don't wanna bug him! If I have any problems, I'll try to solve myself. I know he's concerned about me, but his tone really annoyed me...

So now, he's unhappy and I'm unhappy, disappointed and resentful.

I'll never ever breathe a word to them if anything is to happen to me again.
Huh...communication..dad always ask me to tell him my problems...but whenever I confide in him, I'll just get rewarded with a hard slap, figuratively. Our arguements are getting more and more frequent...Generation gap...

Toy of the month

Check out my new toy dudes! Isn't it coooool! That's right, I just got this pair of K2 skates not long ago...It's retail price was $420 but I got it at half-price! This Kinetic 8.0 possess ILQ-9 bearings and is quite fast! Too fast for an amateur like me lah....I wanted to get the one with ABEC 5 bearings but it doesn't have my size...This is actually a men's model cos I have widely-spaced toes..kekeke I need space to wriggle. I'm determined to master it...wait till I'm good enough...i shall go to the park by myself and glide through the whole evening..

Met up Yu to go skating with me yesterday at Pasir Ris park where we were invited to a chalet nearby...We were the first to get there and got on our wheels right away. The tracks were bumpy and there were lots of slopes...I had an experience with a ramp last week and i fell badly cos my skates were too fast and I lost my balance....once bitten twice shy...i avoided the slopes and kept to flat ground.

There were times that I almost lost my balance...but she held on to me....This made me recall the time when I held her hand in the sea when she started picking up diving...she said i gave her security..hee..now it's her turn...

We headed back for BBQ where most of our friends had arrived. There was a ramp that leads to the gate...Yu went ahead....

She was waiting for me at the other end...trying to convince me that I'd be fine...

but i stood there for a long time...hesitating..many times..i held myself back....though i'm pretty determined to overcome the fear of slopes...I just couldn't bring myself to do something that I'm not confident of...
Finally, I called up to her to help me...to go with me together....
She came up, held my hand and off we went......

Before I could even bat an eyelash, both of us crashed to the sides of the gate..I managed to grab hold of it and found my balance...but Yu fell on her knees...She told me that I was moving much faster than her and she could not catch up....

I felt really bad..but she just kept insisting that it wasn't my fault..just that my skates were a little fast....
She bled a little and we went back to the chalet to clean her wound.....Well, both of us went ahead without any protection gear, so that's why...

Dinner was sumptuous, with all my favourite Indian dishes...curry, pappadums, naan, vadai...ice-cream..beer etc..

I kept chiding myself for forgetting to bring one of the most impt thing in my life...my Finepix...haiz...

After filling our stomachs...the whole lot of us youngsters cramped into a room to play UNO, heart-attack and some other lame games...The forfeit was to have a small cup of beer...My lucky stars are always with me whenever it comes to forfeit...I was the last to get punished..and I din have much...Ironically, it was those who couldn't hold liquor got the most number of forfeit....And a few red faces began to glow as time goes by.... really should have brought my cam to capture moment...quite spectacular *grinz*

We made a move at elevenish cos a handful of us gotta work today....

As I got home from work, I found my dad with sunken cheeks ... he's been down with persistent diarrhoea and have lost 3 kg within 3 days... So after 3 days of torture, he finally gave in to the doctor. But I guess he should be fine in no time cos Dr. Lee always prescribes potent medicine...erm... other than Zoloft..

Next week is gonna be an extremely busy week again...I'm beginning to feel exhaustion even before the week approaches...

When will the new staff arrive???!!!

Some pictures to share

I need to curb the $1- ice-cream crave which has lasted for a week....Due to the wet weather..the ice-cream uncle has not visited my neighbourhood for a long time..;( I really miss the ice-cream sandwich.

Spent my day at the Jurong Birdpark and took a few good pictures...Just wanna share with you folks...




It hasn't changed much for the past decade though they included a few highlights such as the Pelican Cove and the Lory Loft akin to the tree-top walk in Southern Australia.

We filled our stomachs at a restaurant where we got a bird's-eye view of the Flamingos . ET caught a curly-haired waiter eyeing on AL and smiling to himself. Apparently most of the waiters there are not locals, either philipinos or indonesians. This fellow female colleague of his noted his fantasy and started make loud comments like, "XXX is married and have a daughter"...But that guy did not stop drooling over her....I actually saw him crashed into a pole before him as he walked with eyes glue on to her at the same time...keke...what a nincompoop!

We teased AL throughout the whole afternoon and decided to make it the gossip-of-the-week topic on Monday over lunch at pantry ;)

We left before the park closes at 6pm.

Liberated Soul;Throbbing Head

Spent a goddamn 30 mins to get my internet working...yeah..yeah..stop asking me to change to broadband cos I'm stingy!

It's not a normal headache...my brain has been throbbing against my skull for the past 72hours..I hope it's not due to the fall. Woke up in the morning to return a call from my beautician...I did not update her my new mobile no. and she called on my house...booked an appointment with her since my acne's coming back.

Got back to sleep and received another call from a person who's been MIA in my life for sometime...Had a very heated arguement with curses and swears....fury and tears. Guess I used up my whole day's energy trying to explain things and make peace. I hope that these months of emotional rides has come to an end...

The conversation last till elevenish..with my brain still throbbing wildly. It set me thinking and recalling again before I hit to slumberland...I was so drained....It was the first time in years I had a sleeping marathon...all the way till 330pm. Woke up feeling as lethargic as ever.

Words breaks down all walls...at last..I managed to untie the knot in my heart.

Met Jo last evening for dinner in town. She was my fav hangout buddy in Primary School. Because both of us are only child, we somehow enjoy each others company when we were young. She left Singapore for 10 years and she back now. So it was the first time in the decade that I'm seeing her. Was kinda worried that things might turn out awkward...but things turned out smooth.

She still as bubbly and her gestures has never changed. We began reminising about the good old days, feeling nostalgic about the past. Only if we were still young...there wouldn't be so much problems...

It's amazing how 2 single ladies can talk so much about the love of their lives...so many things can happen in 10 years....
We parted before midnight.

I'm Charred

It was my 2nd visit to Werner's oven on Friday with my folks and a family friend. Dad ordered a 500ml Edinger for me. It's been a long time ever since I drank. Although it was only 5.2%, it got me groggy after dinner...Brought them to The Cheesecake cafe for dessert. They simply loved the ambience and the cakes.

Saturday was my tanning day. Brought Yu to walk the dogs at the animal shelter. She loves animals as much as I do. However each of us walked only 3 dogs before we proceed to the cats. As usual, my skin got darker by noon..but that was not all....

Yu has to go back to work, and couldn't join me in blades. Met up with Joy and invited Eric and CY to join us. Joy only joined us later due to work so I cycled for an hour first and switched to skates when she arrived. Had a few falls, one of which caused a slight impact on my brain for a while.

I think I'm doing pretty well as a third-timer and I'm looking into investing a good pair of blades. Most importantly, Joy enjoyed herself though she was shocked that my friends were guys and wasn't really prepared. But seems like she clicks quite well with Eric.

We went on to suntec and dismissed the idea of a movie and proceed on to have dinner.
I had a sense of satisfactory at the end of the day, as both Joy and Yu told me that they enjoyed themselves and they were really appreciative. That's what I like about them, they don't take you for granted.

Got back to work on Sunday and carelessly pricked myself with a non-sterile needle while injecting a guinea pig. Thank goodness I'm not down with mastitis..;)

Met KT for a chat and bumped into Ivan in the evening. Settled dinner together.

Monday was a hectic day and an autopsy day. It was my first time observing the autopsy of 2 dead rabbits and a surgery of a live rabbit.

Caught "The exorcism of Emily Rose" with my colleagues at night and slept over at Al's place because the show ended at around 12am and I need to wake up early for my dive trip today.

The movie wasn't too scary but some scenes appear grotesque to me. Emily Rose was a victim of the devil's work and she was made the sacrificial lamb to go through hell in order to make people believe that devils do exist.

Today's dives were really an experience. I just wanted to try out how bad Singapore waters are so I decided to sign up for this trip to Sister's Island. But I was lucky as the vis was considered good:3-5 metres. Saw a lobster, sea urchins and some butterfly fishes. Dove at St. John Island. Vis was so bad at the bottom that CY and I lost sight of the DM the moment we entered the water. We made our own way around using the corals on my right as a guide. Took a few pics at St. John cos it was my first trip to the Island.

Now, I'm as tanned as ever. Before I could even shed off my charred coat, I was renewed with another layer of brown epidermis.