I'm already in pain...and they just have to show their "concern" to me this way.
For the past 4 months, my muscles that sit deeply into my right hip aches whenever I walk too much or stand too long. And the frequency gets higher and higher; from once a few days to everyday now. And the occurence gets earlier and earlier; used to ache in the evening, then afternoon and now, it's 2 hours into work. Frankly, it always happens on working days. This problem bothers me because it affects my efficiency and productivity at work. I feel really lousy when my body grows tired and have to get people to run errands for me... I love to multi-task..but I can't seemed to achieve that lately.Was told to see the doctor but I thought it was too trivial to consult one, till I started limping a little today at work.
I made this known to my folks 2 months back. Dad offered to gave me a massage. It worked very well, caused it disperses the pain. But it keeps recurring so he insisted that he should do it for me till I fully recover.
But of course, everytime I would groan throughout the whole session...complained that I don't want anymore massage again.
There were times that I came back feeling achy, but I just didn't want to disturb Dad from his favourite programs. I can't possibly bother him everyday right..I mean, how can a daughter ask for a massage from her Dad? Eventually, my parents thought that my problem has subsided.
This morning, I kinda mentioned it to my mum....told her that it's back because I hardly have a chance to sit down at work. She just questioned me innocently with a tinge of hidden sacarsm, " Huh, it's impossible what, I used to walk the whole day in the past when I was working in the restaurant...How come I don't have this problem?" I felt very bitter.... so does she think I'm useless and incapable of hard work? They have this habit of condemning youngsters..and I'm part of it.
I consulted Dr. Lee before coming home just now. I was diagnosed with muscle spasms around my lower right limb. Due to toxin accumulation, my aches come more frequent. Gave me some muscle relaxant and some anti-toxins. Though my gut feeling tells me that medicine doesn't help, I'm just relieved that it wasn't some major problem....But I was warned that if I don't get it properly treated, it may last forever.
Dr. Lee also advised me on my sleeping and standing postures and encouraged me to go swimming more often....Thrice a week..."once a week is not enough" :(
The moment I stepped into the house just now, Mum conveniently put the responsibility on my skates..." I know why you are suffering from aches...you must have fell while skating...etc..." I couldn't help but raised my voice, " I know my body.... how could it arise from skating when I already felt it 4 months back??? I took up skating only a fortnight ago!" She kept mum as soon as she sense my displeasure... In fact, I was more disappointed than angry... She's still not convinced I got it from work.
Dad was there listening all this while and began siding my Mum... " Told you that u need a massage till you fully recover...but u refused and kept complaining that it's painful... so now it's even worse... if u had listened to me earlier........*nag* *nag*"..Believe it or not...my dad can nag more than my mum..
" I didn't say I dun want...I only said it's painful!" I rebuked... it's just natural to complain abt the pain when one feels painful right?
" You should seek my help and not me seeking u and ask if u need one..." He's tone always sounds like he's pushing all the blame on me and I deserved all this. Not that I don't wanna seek help from him...I just don't wanna bug him! If I have any problems, I'll try to solve myself. I know he's concerned about me, but his tone really annoyed me...
So now, he's unhappy and I'm unhappy, disappointed and resentful.
I'll never ever breathe a word to them if anything is to happen to me again.
Huh...communication..dad always ask me to tell him my problems...but whenever I confide in him, I'll just get rewarded with a hard slap, figuratively. Our arguements are getting more and more frequent...Generation gap...
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