Wrapping up...

Wow...another year is approaching again...time flies. Ever since I last blogged, I had been work hard, playing hard and falling sick to this very last day of the year. But I'm getting better now, only left with a slightly stuffy nose. Been sleeping alot these days due to my running nose, sore throat and throbbing head...Had not been sleeping much ever since I came back from Bangkok a few days ago...Touched down at 10 plus and reach home at 12am...wrapped gifts till 3 am and woke up at 6 plus for work...That explains why I lack my beauty sleep....My face has an outbreak and my eyes seemed to have sunken into my skull....yes, that ugly now..

But I'm all set and ready for a meet up with my poly mates for dinner and movie-the Family Stone.

The pre-Christmas season was good as I had Christmas lunches and dinner with my friends...
Had a nite out at a 4-star hotel with ASHLY and FRIENDS where we played all sorts of board games till late. I really enjoyed that evening with the ladies and feel blessed to have friends like them whom I can celebrate Christmas every year without fail for a decade. On top of that, I've received countless gifts from colleagues and friends...Everyday, 1 or 2 gifts would pop up in my pigeon hole at work...It's like everyone started giving presents and my whole dept ended up exchanging gifts...I liked that...because it lightens the mood...Ever since a few new staff joined us a few weeks ago, I began to observe more smiling faces at work. Work is still busy, but not as bad as before...and things seemed to have changed for the better.

My Christmas was spent in Bangkok (left pic). There were lightings everywhere but the mood was more toned down as compared to Singapore. However, I did a lot of shopping and bought a lot of gifts for colleagues whom I've yet to return a gift. The weather was unbelievably cool...28 degrees. Even though I was clad in long- sleeves, I could feel the cold wind brushing across the surface of my blouse. This made shopping more relaxing and less stifling even though the crowds were overwhelming at Chatuchak weekend market ( right pic ). We visited Chinatown as well. Unlike other countries, the Chinatown in Bangkok covered an extensive district. It's a place where stuff like shoes, fabrics, bags toys, accessories are sold in bulks at wholesale prices. For people who are interested to get cheap goods to sell, this is heaven... But of course, no more bargaining is allowed cos they are at their lowest rates... This is a picture of an old temple taken in Chinatown. Thought it might look better in greyscale.

This is my 3rd time to Bangkok and I finally got a few good pictures of the Grand Palace with my own camera. This was my last day in Bangkok. The weather has become warm, breezeless and the air was stifling. The sky was greyish and moody.... The pictures would have turned out better if the sky is blue....






There goes my Christmas for 2005.

All Work and No Life

Ever since the departure of my colleague, work has become more hectic than ever. On top of that, the wet weather has deprived me from countless outdoor activities: swimming, blading, cycling etc...

Before the work really piled on, I frequent the newly opened gym at my workplace. It was well-equipped, spacious and most importantly, not crowded...I'd squeeze out some time during lunch or after work for a 30min jog on the threadmill.

But as days goes by, my working hours lengthen...instead of knocking off at 6pm, I've to knock off about 8pm most of the days...Just because one colleague didn't get his work organised, most of us has to do extra work for him. It was really tiring.

Lately, there are projects going on, and it's going to go on for a few months or even years.... I just completed 2 jobs and I'm already worn out....With these on going projects, I've to come earlier, about 7-ish and end work at the same time, which is about 7-8pm.

2 weeks ago, waited for a shipment to arrive till 1130pm on a Friday night....my brain was totally dead as i reached home at about 1am cos it was raining and I had a hard time calling a cab.
Last Friday, Reached work at 7am, knock off at 630pm for a tennis game at a colleague's place....If not for the game, I dun think I'd be able to force myself to rush everything before the day ends...

Was scheduled to come back over the weekends...Sat, work from 11am-4pm..and Sunday....fantastic, morning 950am-7pm in the evening.........Was supposed to catch a movie, but have to give it a miss in the end...there goes my weekend....
And today reach work at 7-ish and knock of at 8pm again.....
My fingers were already trembling....
At night I couldn't sleep well too....
There was once I tried half a can of beer, relaxant pills and tv before hitting the sack....I was supposed to wake up at 545am the next day....

I'm really looking forward to Christmas when I can relax and get out of work for a few days.....
It like whenever i go, i can't get my mind off work....My brain couldn't stop working as long as there's something that needs to been done.

But of course, I still do try to squeeze out some time for leisure. Visited the zoo and took some nice shots too.... Check them out.



On one weekend, I even got to see my 11-yr old cousin play soccer..He was estatic when he found that I'm going down to support him...Needless to say, his team won! :P ..I'm very proud of him because I think he's the potential of becoming our future young lion. Fandi is his coach and I managed to catch a glimpse of him and his family at the match....
Klinsmann (named after a former German football player) has been going on trips to Malaysia for friendly matches with his school. And now, he's actually at Perth for a week for some games too.....

Yesterday, went to trade-in my lousy phone for a new phone...It was a great deal because I got my previous phone for $160 and it has a trade-in value of $170! I ended topping up only $15 for my current phone...And I like it very much....;)

I promise myself that I'll not stay back so late for work anymore....tho J said that I've been repeating this phrase for a few days liao..:(...but I'm really grateful that she helped me out just now, or I might still be at work at this time....

Looking forward to Christmas!

Pig reflection

*sigh*..time to do self reflection again....this usually takes place when i find that the whole world finds me disagreeable.
A close colleague of mine is leaving soon...we used to be quite close...but we've drifted apart...She always tell people that I'm her "daughter"...because she found that we share similar traits. However, I'd been too occupied with work these months that I hardly get to interact with her. As a result, she seemed to get closer to 2 other colleagues. Many a time, I wanted to spend some time talking to her....but whenever I manage to find time to rest a while, she's knock off.
I'm upset with her because she did not give me an answer whether she'll be at working on her last day as she has taken a few days off prior to that. I understand her reason was to not get too attached to the few of us who's been working with her for quite a while. But rationally speaking, she should at least let us be prepared so that we can re-allocate our duties in her absence.
With one man down, I can foresee the hectic schedule coming ahead...Was kinda worried that it's gonna be really busy and my problem will rise again...My body no longer allows me to work as aggressively as in the past. Did mention my worries to a fellow colleague...but she keep saying that I "worry too much" and been too "stressed out".... I didn't feel good about her comments because
I'm seldom stressed by work....I admit that I'm tired physically, but I'm still mentally relaxed....My main worry is my hip more than anything else because the ache was just unbearable, especially when I'm seated...
So we had a long sms debate over this. Just feel that she doesn't really understand..reason being...she's a little laid-back...not lazy..but she takes things in her stride...and she's not too bothered about how others feel...she's the "slow and steady" type...
As for me, I'm more aggressive, result-orientated and too bothered by people..the "time is money" type....
I seek perfection and set high expectations for myself...even higher than those that ppl set for me.... In a way...that's kinda stupid,
cos I often get disppointments...but i find it hard to change...that's just me...
Talking about disappointment.... was disappointed when a friend made me expect a call but didn't call in the end....it was nothing important..and it was a trivial matter...but I just don't like it when people say things they don't mean, no matter how small the issue is....when u promise something, try to keep it...when u say something, try to do it. I know someone who keeps every word he says...strictly....and he earns a bit of my respect.
So...have these people really stepped on my feet? Or am I too serious, petty, narrow-minded...I just can't help taking people's word too seriously....
Ought to be thankful that my friends accepted me for who I am...Why am I still expecting so much from them?

Yu's 21st birthday gift

My weeks of planning has finally come to fruition...
This little surprise for Yu was intended as her 21st birthday gift.
Got her blinded folded in ZQ's car and brought her to the aquarium to dive with the dugong and other marine mammals.
On our way, we picked up LQ and HJ dicreetly without her knowledge..We made her think that 3 of us were going for a picnic..
Yu's boyfriend, Tat was already there. When her blindfold was removed and found herself at the aquarium, she looked a little disappointed cos Tat brought her there 3 days ago...

"Oh, this time is different, you'll go in dry but come out wet..."said LQ...Yu got our hint and couldn't believe her ears. She appeared very nervous and apprehensive as she's not been diving for 8 months... Though we keep convincing her that she would have a good time in there, her signs of tension were apparent when LQ and I accompanied her backstage to get her prepared for her dive : extremely quiet ( for someone so yakky ), trembling hands and distraught expression...
I began to doubt myself and wonder if my surprise has backfired...Have I given her more stress and fear than surprise?
She got into the water with the DM soon after and we stood at the glass, watching her, taking videos. To my disappointment, pictures didn't turn out good because of the glass reflection. Crowds swamp around us and took pictures of the divers rather than fishes. Though a little lost, Yu managed to adapt herself to the ocean of creatures swimming around her...

I heaved a sigh of relief when I saw how much she enjoyed feeding the rays and wrasses. She even waved to us through the glass windows...
We proceed to cut the cake after her shower and went on the play the LUGE. It was all-new experience for all of us as well and we managed to hop on the chairlift to bring us up after each ride.
We gave the dolphin lagoon a miss and brought 2 loaves of bread to feed the kois. We left as the sun began to set....ZQ drop us off to have dinner at a Vietnamese restaurant.
To Yu, this day was an unforgettable....

Adding to my Pain

Our arguement ended not long ago...Instead of joining them in front of the television, I cooped myself here with instant noodles as my company....
I'm already in pain...and they just have to show their "concern" to me this way.

For the past 4 months, my muscles that sit deeply into my right hip aches whenever I walk too much or stand too long. And the frequency gets higher and higher; from once a few days to everyday now. And the occurence gets earlier and earlier; used to ache in the evening, then afternoon and now, it's 2 hours into work. Frankly, it always happens on working days. This problem bothers me because it affects my efficiency and productivity at work. I feel really lousy when my body grows tired and have to get people to run errands for me... I love to multi-task..but I can't seemed to achieve that lately.Was told to see the doctor but I thought it was too trivial to consult one, till I started limping a little today at work.

I made this known to my folks 2 months back. Dad offered to gave me a massage. It worked very well, caused it disperses the pain. But it keeps recurring so he insisted that he should do it for me till I fully recover.
But of course, everytime I would groan throughout the whole session...complained that I don't want anymore massage again.

There were times that I came back feeling achy, but I just didn't want to disturb Dad from his favourite programs. I can't possibly bother him everyday right..I mean, how can a daughter ask for a massage from her Dad? Eventually, my parents thought that my problem has subsided.

This morning, I kinda mentioned it to my mum....told her that it's back because I hardly have a chance to sit down at work. She just questioned me innocently with a tinge of hidden sacarsm, " Huh, it's impossible what, I used to walk the whole day in the past when I was working in the restaurant...How come I don't have this problem?" I felt very bitter.... so does she think I'm useless and incapable of hard work? They have this habit of condemning youngsters..and I'm part of it.

I consulted Dr. Lee before coming home just now. I was diagnosed with muscle spasms around my lower right limb. Due to toxin accumulation, my aches come more frequent. Gave me some muscle relaxant and some anti-toxins. Though my gut feeling tells me that medicine doesn't help, I'm just relieved that it wasn't some major problem....But I was warned that if I don't get it properly treated, it may last forever.

Dr. Lee also advised me on my sleeping and standing postures and encouraged me to go swimming more often....Thrice a week..."once a week is not enough" :(

The moment I stepped into the house just now, Mum conveniently put the responsibility on my skates..." I know why you are suffering from aches...you must have fell while skating...etc..." I couldn't help but raised my voice, " I know my body.... how could it arise from skating when I already felt it 4 months back??? I took up skating only a fortnight ago!" She kept mum as soon as she sense my displeasure... In fact, I was more disappointed than angry... She's still not convinced I got it from work.

Dad was there listening all this while and began siding my Mum... " Told you that u need a massage till you fully recover...but u refused and kept complaining that it's painful... so now it's even worse... if u had listened to me earlier........*nag* *nag*"..Believe it or not...my dad can nag more than my mum..

" I didn't say I dun want...I only said it's painful!" I rebuked... it's just natural to complain abt the pain when one feels painful right?

" You should seek my help and not me seeking u and ask if u need one..." He's tone always sounds like he's pushing all the blame on me and I deserved all this. Not that I don't wanna seek help from him...I just don't wanna bug him! If I have any problems, I'll try to solve myself. I know he's concerned about me, but his tone really annoyed me...

So now, he's unhappy and I'm unhappy, disappointed and resentful.

I'll never ever breathe a word to them if anything is to happen to me again.
Huh...communication..dad always ask me to tell him my problems...but whenever I confide in him, I'll just get rewarded with a hard slap, figuratively. Our arguements are getting more and more frequent...Generation gap...

Toy of the month

Check out my new toy dudes! Isn't it coooool! That's right, I just got this pair of K2 skates not long ago...It's retail price was $420 but I got it at half-price! This Kinetic 8.0 possess ILQ-9 bearings and is quite fast! Too fast for an amateur like me lah....I wanted to get the one with ABEC 5 bearings but it doesn't have my size...This is actually a men's model cos I have widely-spaced toes..kekeke I need space to wriggle. I'm determined to master it...wait till I'm good enough...i shall go to the park by myself and glide through the whole evening..

Met up Yu to go skating with me yesterday at Pasir Ris park where we were invited to a chalet nearby...We were the first to get there and got on our wheels right away. The tracks were bumpy and there were lots of slopes...I had an experience with a ramp last week and i fell badly cos my skates were too fast and I lost my balance....once bitten twice shy...i avoided the slopes and kept to flat ground.

There were times that I almost lost my balance...but she held on to me....This made me recall the time when I held her hand in the sea when she started picking up diving...she said i gave her security..hee..now it's her turn...

We headed back for BBQ where most of our friends had arrived. There was a ramp that leads to the gate...Yu went ahead....

She was waiting for me at the other end...trying to convince me that I'd be fine...

but i stood there for a long time...hesitating..many times..i held myself back....though i'm pretty determined to overcome the fear of slopes...I just couldn't bring myself to do something that I'm not confident of...
Finally, I called up to her to help me...to go with me together....
She came up, held my hand and off we went......

Before I could even bat an eyelash, both of us crashed to the sides of the gate..I managed to grab hold of it and found my balance...but Yu fell on her knees...She told me that I was moving much faster than her and she could not catch up....

I felt really bad..but she just kept insisting that it wasn't my fault..just that my skates were a little fast....
She bled a little and we went back to the chalet to clean her wound.....Well, both of us went ahead without any protection gear, so that's why...

Dinner was sumptuous, with all my favourite Indian dishes...curry, pappadums, naan, vadai...ice-cream..beer etc..

I kept chiding myself for forgetting to bring one of the most impt thing in my life...my Finepix...haiz...

After filling our stomachs...the whole lot of us youngsters cramped into a room to play UNO, heart-attack and some other lame games...The forfeit was to have a small cup of beer...My lucky stars are always with me whenever it comes to forfeit...I was the last to get punished..and I din have much...Ironically, it was those who couldn't hold liquor got the most number of forfeit....And a few red faces began to glow as time goes by.... really should have brought my cam to capture moment...quite spectacular *grinz*

We made a move at elevenish cos a handful of us gotta work today....

As I got home from work, I found my dad with sunken cheeks ... he's been down with persistent diarrhoea and have lost 3 kg within 3 days... So after 3 days of torture, he finally gave in to the doctor. But I guess he should be fine in no time cos Dr. Lee always prescribes potent medicine...erm... other than Zoloft..

Next week is gonna be an extremely busy week again...I'm beginning to feel exhaustion even before the week approaches...

When will the new staff arrive???!!!

Some pictures to share

I need to curb the $1- ice-cream crave which has lasted for a week....Due to the wet weather..the ice-cream uncle has not visited my neighbourhood for a long time..;( I really miss the ice-cream sandwich.

Spent my day at the Jurong Birdpark and took a few good pictures...Just wanna share with you folks...




It hasn't changed much for the past decade though they included a few highlights such as the Pelican Cove and the Lory Loft akin to the tree-top walk in Southern Australia.

We filled our stomachs at a restaurant where we got a bird's-eye view of the Flamingos . ET caught a curly-haired waiter eyeing on AL and smiling to himself. Apparently most of the waiters there are not locals, either philipinos or indonesians. This fellow female colleague of his noted his fantasy and started make loud comments like, "XXX is married and have a daughter"...But that guy did not stop drooling over her....I actually saw him crashed into a pole before him as he walked with eyes glue on to her at the same time...keke...what a nincompoop!

We teased AL throughout the whole afternoon and decided to make it the gossip-of-the-week topic on Monday over lunch at pantry ;)

We left before the park closes at 6pm.

Liberated Soul;Throbbing Head

Spent a goddamn 30 mins to get my internet working...yeah..yeah..stop asking me to change to broadband cos I'm stingy!

It's not a normal headache...my brain has been throbbing against my skull for the past 72hours..I hope it's not due to the fall. Woke up in the morning to return a call from my beautician...I did not update her my new mobile no. and she called on my house...booked an appointment with her since my acne's coming back.

Got back to sleep and received another call from a person who's been MIA in my life for sometime...Had a very heated arguement with curses and swears....fury and tears. Guess I used up my whole day's energy trying to explain things and make peace. I hope that these months of emotional rides has come to an end...

The conversation last till elevenish..with my brain still throbbing wildly. It set me thinking and recalling again before I hit to slumberland...I was so drained....It was the first time in years I had a sleeping marathon...all the way till 330pm. Woke up feeling as lethargic as ever.

Words breaks down all walls...at last..I managed to untie the knot in my heart.

Met Jo last evening for dinner in town. She was my fav hangout buddy in Primary School. Because both of us are only child, we somehow enjoy each others company when we were young. She left Singapore for 10 years and she back now. So it was the first time in the decade that I'm seeing her. Was kinda worried that things might turn out awkward...but things turned out smooth.

She still as bubbly and her gestures has never changed. We began reminising about the good old days, feeling nostalgic about the past. Only if we were still young...there wouldn't be so much problems...

It's amazing how 2 single ladies can talk so much about the love of their lives...so many things can happen in 10 years....
We parted before midnight.

I'm Charred

It was my 2nd visit to Werner's oven on Friday with my folks and a family friend. Dad ordered a 500ml Edinger for me. It's been a long time ever since I drank. Although it was only 5.2%, it got me groggy after dinner...Brought them to The Cheesecake cafe for dessert. They simply loved the ambience and the cakes.

Saturday was my tanning day. Brought Yu to walk the dogs at the animal shelter. She loves animals as much as I do. However each of us walked only 3 dogs before we proceed to the cats. As usual, my skin got darker by noon..but that was not all....

Yu has to go back to work, and couldn't join me in blades. Met up with Joy and invited Eric and CY to join us. Joy only joined us later due to work so I cycled for an hour first and switched to skates when she arrived. Had a few falls, one of which caused a slight impact on my brain for a while.

I think I'm doing pretty well as a third-timer and I'm looking into investing a good pair of blades. Most importantly, Joy enjoyed herself though she was shocked that my friends were guys and wasn't really prepared. But seems like she clicks quite well with Eric.

We went on to suntec and dismissed the idea of a movie and proceed on to have dinner.
I had a sense of satisfactory at the end of the day, as both Joy and Yu told me that they enjoyed themselves and they were really appreciative. That's what I like about them, they don't take you for granted.

Got back to work on Sunday and carelessly pricked myself with a non-sterile needle while injecting a guinea pig. Thank goodness I'm not down with mastitis..;)

Met KT for a chat and bumped into Ivan in the evening. Settled dinner together.

Monday was a hectic day and an autopsy day. It was my first time observing the autopsy of 2 dead rabbits and a surgery of a live rabbit.

Caught "The exorcism of Emily Rose" with my colleagues at night and slept over at Al's place because the show ended at around 12am and I need to wake up early for my dive trip today.

The movie wasn't too scary but some scenes appear grotesque to me. Emily Rose was a victim of the devil's work and she was made the sacrificial lamb to go through hell in order to make people believe that devils do exist.

Today's dives were really an experience. I just wanted to try out how bad Singapore waters are so I decided to sign up for this trip to Sister's Island. But I was lucky as the vis was considered good:3-5 metres. Saw a lobster, sea urchins and some butterfly fishes. Dove at St. John Island. Vis was so bad at the bottom that CY and I lost sight of the DM the moment we entered the water. We made our own way around using the corals on my right as a guide. Took a few pics at St. John cos it was my first trip to the Island.

Now, I'm as tanned as ever. Before I could even shed off my charred coat, I was renewed with another layer of brown epidermis.

Swings of Melancholy

It's already 8pm and I'm still at my workstation doing some stuff that need to be done sometime back. Was supposed to give a surprise visit to my piano teacher with a colleague, who is currently attending her classes. However, my teacher had something on, so she postponed the lesson.

Could have gone home, or to town to get my favourite chocolate donuts....guess I was lazy.
But I'm enjoying being alone here in this cold room with the soothing music that serves as dew drops to my sore heart...

Been waking up these morning feeling really awful and having dreams that brings back painful memories...Thankfully, my mood got better as the time passes...but the cycle just repeats everyday... Guess I'm not a morning person though my biological clock has been timed early ever since a year ago.

Someone poured out his heart today...telling me how lonely and lost he felt. I can truely understand what he has gone through. I kinda felt more comforted and fortunate that I'm better off than him cos I have a bigger circle of friends and a supportive, closely-knitted family, whereas he doesn't. He wanders about everyday after work till he's totally worn out before going home...

Conducted an interview today together with my boss for new staff... after hearing how some people seek for job desparately in order to support their family, my boss and I decided to give them a chance to work. Seems like both of us have a streak of charitable heart... turns soft at anyone's plight... not very wise. Of course, their attitude was fine...just hope they don't disappoint us.

Tomorrow shall be a better day;)

"help me! help me!"

Had 6 games of pool with 3 other colleagues at Clementi after work last evening. I paired up wif RAD throughout and we won all the games!!That's why I love to pair up with him...haha...he always win!

During dinner, one of them told me that he thought I was a Malay at first...but when I spoke Mandarin...he got "disappointed"...I dunno what he meant by that..but which part of me looks like a Malay?

Well anyway as I reached my flat, I heard some shouts and it grew louder...So I popped out to find out what's happening...I couldn't find the source..but I saw onlookers from my opposite block shouting "Stop it!!" as they looked towards the storeys above me.

Before I decide to give up being a KPO...I heard a gal yelling," Help me Help me..please call the police!" in Mandarin. I thought I should do something so I went on tracing the voice...
It came from the 12th storey. Many residents were already there handling the situation ...they are mostly guys and one of them asked me to persuade this petite, young-looking lady who has been grasping on to the railings tightly. She did not appear as if she was attempting suicide because her feet were on the ground.
People told me that she's a little mentally unstable and wanted to jump off. So I was asked to hold her.
She resisted and continued shouting for help, creating a scene in the whole neighbourhood.
She didn't want to hear me speak and no one is allowed to touch her...
And she wants us to call the police, claiming that she'll only speak to the police.

Not longer after, the SCDF came, followed by the police , ambulance and fire engine....
I was quite surprised and amused because the situation doesn't seemed to be that serious.

Geez...i just realised that the SCDF guys were quite cute!*grin* They were tall, strong and suave in their coveralls and helmets...So as I was admiring their serious-looking faces and their gestures, this huge, round female colleague of theirs has to intervene...she got us to clear the place and I lost the sight of my civil dudes ;( ... I could still hear their conversation though...The lady did not want to talk to them either..only to the police, she claimed... The police came and she was questioned...she sounded perfectly normal as she described the scenario. She had a heated arguement with her husband, who was at the scene, and he allegedly wanted to throw her off the block. She sounded very convincing and I believed her.

Seeing everything in control, i made my way home and realised that my parents were so immersed into the tv program and were oblivious of what was happening 7 storeys above...

week of lavish

Had a slightly extraordinary weekend...

Was asked to help out in the animal course on Friday to replace my colleague who was on leave...It was a little bored, but it was the only time I got know a little more about my HOD, whose birthday fell on that day...and got to work with rhon.

Since I had a little time before my swim, I got rhon to have a game of pool with me...

TY din play me out..went to Yishun SAFRA and had a good swim. 20 continuous laps (10 rounds ) non-stop. That was the first time I had this rush of motivation in me...guessed i was forced by anger...
TY was like.."whoa, you seemed to have a lot of stamina today huh? never see b4"
But I think I gained back all the calories after a heavy supper-chicken cutlet.

Went to look for ally on saturday morning. We had a chat and went to town to have crepes from Out of the Pan. Spent $30 there and caught "The 40-yr-old virgin" at PS. It was kinda funny with some explicit scenes though. Well, Ally enjoyed it, at least, and I'm glad.

Met KT and Choon for dinner at Taka. We spent about 45 min deciding on the dining place because KT had a low cost budget; anything less than $20... :O to me that's my high end budget...
We ended up in San*r and it was a disappointment. The range was little, the food is pricey and the dishes aren't tasty. The waitresses there were friendly though. Each person ended up paying $23....
Total expenditure: $62.50

Lide asked me to accompany him to donate his blood to a friend's dad, who's suffering from leukemia. It was raining cats and dogs and our shoes were soaked when we reach the heamatology block in SGH. To our disappointment, the department was closed...it was a wasted trip. We went on for tea at Maxwell market by a cab. Spent $7 on dim sum, dessert and hum chim pang. Lide commented that I seemed to get mellower each time he sees me...no longer bubbly...

It was still early so we went to check out the salsa bar in pagoda street. We were thinking of signing up classes but no one approached us when we were at the entrance...the dancers carried on practicing in the small studio despite our presence...Typical dancer attitude..*sigh*

Time seemed to crawl as we roam around Chinatown aimlessly. He suggested a movie and we went ahead. Caught a 6pm show by Andy Lau, though I prefer to watch Flight Plan.

"Wait till you are older" is more meaningful than I thought. Both of us confessed that we teared during the movie. It tells us "Life is a journey but it's only one way. Yet it's a good thing that it never repeats" Something we did wrong will forever be wrong. . No matter how much we swear to change, and never let it happen again...By the time we regret, there's no turning back. But it's never too late to realise cause we still have time. But Andy Lau doesn't, because he drank a potion, that makes him age and became older than his dad. He wanted to become his daddy's boy again but there's no way. After the movie, it set both of us thinking...if we had wasted our life on meaningless things...he spent to much on dancing, and i spent too much on feelings. The movie made me felt better. We sat down for tea and soup outside borders. The mushroom soup was good but it costs me $7.50. Got milk from the supermart for tomorrow's breakfast and proceeded to the food centre near my house. Had prawn mee and tea which makes it perfect on a cold night.
Total expenditure: $30

For once, I'm willing to spend money on weekend movies. Guess it's part of retail therapy.

Change of plans...again???

I just drafted a long post and it was deleted!!!Dammit!!

Basically, I was complaining about how my friends had been changing their plans throughout the entire week....ended up going home after work..I could have found something to do..

Going for a swim with TY tomorrow...hope he doesn't change his plans too....

Just received my cert a few moments ago via courier...
My folks stood anxiously behind me as I slowly draw out that piece of precious document from that huge envelope...
Finally...after so much effort, money and long wait.....I'm a certified degree holder....
I felt elated as my mum read out the prints...

Can't imagine I managed to graduate as I was struggling with work, giving tuition to 3 students and handling a relationship then....well, it comes with good time management isn't it ;P
Hope I'll get recognition soon...

Pulau Ubin trip

It was a cloudy day when I left the house, wondering if the trip could still go on.
Met CY at Bedok, Carol, Pat and Eric at Changi jetty for a trip to P. Ubin. It was meant to be a cycling trip.
It started to drizzle when we met so we decided to grab something to fill our stomachs before taking the ferry.

The ferry trip was surprisingly short: 15 mins.
We rent a bicycle each at about $3 and headed round the island in no time.
Half of the time, we got down to push the bike. The gears were useless. The were many upslopes and downhills.
And it was more tiring than I expected. I suffered a few mozzie bites like the rest, even with the insect repellent.

I wanted to go to the beautiful lake at quarry but I could not find the path of entry.
Pat promised to go back and visit the quarry on the next trip.

We return our bikes and had a sumptuous lunch at 1430 hrs.

Hit the Roof

After staying at home for a few consecutive Fridays, I decided to go out today after work...
Supposed to meet a friend in town at 630pm for dinner... Contemplated that she'll be late so msged her to ask if she can make it on time because surprisingly, she din inform me that she'll be late...Well, she's known for being late. I was kinda prepared to wait half hour or so and thought of reading up at Borders while waiting for her. She did not reply my sms after a while so I called...Twice it missed. Not long after I received a reply from her.." Just woke up..dun think can join u for dinner. Pai seh"....
I was dumbfounded.... And can feel my blood gushing up my head for an instant. I was already there and she told me she can't make it....Worse thing is, she used "pai seh"...to brush me off instead of a proper apology.
I did not reply....I wanted to go ahead with Borders but I guess this incident spoilt my mood completely.
Stormed to the MRT and proceed home...Bought dinner and $7 worth of snacks: Pocky, Tasty, Twisties, HL banana milk and Lexus biscuit... to godge down my throat.
I did not finish all though....but I felt better. Just hate it when people played me out.

My 6-day Seaventures

Wow...finally back from a long-awaited dive trip...This trip is full of first-times, risks and experience.....
Bear with me if you arent a diver....

07/09(Wed)

Gastic wasn't feeling very well still...but it did not stop me from dipping into the blues...
We started our first dive with a group 5 divers: HQ, YS , Joseph (49 yrs), Corrine (28 yrs) and I plus the divemaster, Imran, who planned the trip and 2 local indonesian divemaster and instructor Noldi and Richmon respectively.

Was being paired with Corrine who had not done muck diving before...Muck diving means the creatures u see are all macros in size..tiny-weeny..

It was the first-time for me too...that's y we were lost....why did everyone manage to see so many things except for us???That's because the creatures are so small and u have to know where to look for them...

The first thing I saw was a puny shrimp~1cm...I was trying to figure out where the head was and I got a bad headache after focusing for too long...

Because all of them brought down their cameras, except for me....everyone was diving by themselves...so we were a little disorientated as we dunno who to follow...

I really think I can't appreciate macros...So it was quite a boring dive for me....was a little disppointed too...


08/09 (Thur)

Woke up early in the morning to take pictures of the surrounding environment...My dear couple was still snuggling in bed...
Had lunch and set off for 3 dives. Buddied up with Corrine again. The dives were slightly better due to good visibility. However the current was strong on 2 dives and the DM had to hold on to me to prevent me from drifting away. Though still didn't managed to spot many marcos I got to see my first reef octopus and a baby rock lobster....
Noldi, one of the local DM went down with a spear and caught a big cod and a 50 cm Jack...
That's what was served for dinner....;

09/09 (Fri)

We set off for a 1-day trip to Bungka Island which was a 3-hr boat ride from Manado. The weather was good so I sat at the bow of the boat to feel the morning sun...Noldi and Richmon were out there too. Saw a handful of small flying fish popping out and back into the water. Suddenly, Richmon told me he just spotted a dolphin. I turned to the same spot, hoping to catch a glimpse...True enough....The same dolphin did a high jump and disappeared back into the water. The rest of the people were sleeping in the boat..so I was the only one who had seen it...and it made my day..:)
I decided to "dump" Corrine and follwing YS and HQ to search for macros...HQ has this amazing ability to spot minute creatures....
We came across a mantis shrimp...it was lobster-sized so i managed to spot it. These stomatopods uses their specialised appendages to "spear" or "smash" their prey...The force of the strike is able to break a double layered safety glass.
We took our metal pointers and "fought" with it. It retaliated with loud "clangs" when we took turns to disturb it. This chap is really formidable...:)

I gradually saw more and more critters as they unveil the curtains of the soft corals. This is where I started to appreciate these beautiful and amazing shrimps and crabs of different colours and prints.
YS took many pictures along the way to the extent that we spent too much time on each creature...
I decided to proceed on to check out what others have beneath their lens.

I ended up hopping from one diver to another and ran out of air soon. I was left with 15 bars before and ascend after completing my 3-min safety stop.
I came up alone...without any buddy and waited for the rest on the boat. HQ came out some time after and told me I should do a 20min stop instead due to the long time we stayed in the deep. Need more time to out-gas..I was unaware because I did not have a dive computer. YS's newly bought camera got flooded because a strand of hair got stuck in the o-ring....there goes $600. Thank god he managed to salvage the SD card.

My 2nd dive was longer and I ascended with 10bars of oxygen....I told myself that I should stop this habit of completing a dive with so little air. Noldi and Eric caught more fishes this time and an octupus. I cant imagine myself eating Batfish..

We reached Bungka at about 3pm. The water was so clear and the corals were so rich even in the shallows. Some of us went for a dip. The crew began pitching tents and setting up fire...The deserted island suddenly turned into a makeshift kitchen and camp. We ended our day with a night dive at this virgin site.

Wendy and I sticked closely together in the dark. The site was amazing... many critters came alive and we saw many things. Before I knew it, 50 min had passed and everyone was still exploring. I checked by pressure gauge...10 bars, so I signalled to HQ and she shared what was left of her 50 bars with me. I thought she's preparing to ascend, but she continued following Eric,a 21-yr-old DM, for another 8 mins. Because she was wearing a computer, I guess I can trust her to do a proper safety stop. We were halfway through our sefety stop, when we started gasping for air. She signalled the ascend handsign and we surfaced without completing the stop. We found that we were the only one surfaced and the boat was beyond our sight. A few minutes later, someone else surface and the boat picked us up....

1-hour of night dive and ran out of air....This was listed as another "first-time".

We had a quick shower and dinner was ready... Lots of fishes, squid and juicy vege. The crew sang and played guitar to keep us entertained....
They had good voices and they sang throughout the night.
HQ and YS went back to the boat to sleep. Corrine was supposed to share the tent with me, but she changed her mind and slept on the boat too.

I left bags of my barang barang in the tent and went to the toilet in the boat. When I came out Eric carried every single bag of my stuff, hands full and attempted to wade through the waters to put them back into the boat. He thought I wanted to sleep on the boat too. I told him that I'll be camping and he hurried off to put my stuff back...hee...so pai seh...

I felt tired but I couldn't sleep, because I could feel the tree roots beneath my vertebra. However, I enjoyed the peace and warmth as the hospitable crew continued to sing throughout the night. Even though I was alone with a group of people whom I knew for less than 3 days, they made me feel like home.


10/09 (Sat)

We were lucky to be in time for the window period where the currents were less strong. The first dive site is known as a "washing machine"- as the name implies if we were to hit the current that occurs in the late morning, it'd be hazardous.

The last dive site is called "Paradise". Ironically, the island is known to be haunted even in the day. We dove at the jetty and there was an enormous variety of marine life:- frogfish, harlequin ghost pipefish, sea snake, shrimps, scorpionfish, porcupinefish, mantis shrimp, crabs,etc...A paradise indeed. There was also a small hot spring at the seabed resulting in warmer waters as compared to other sites.

We set off back to Manado as the weather turned stormy... The waves were furious and we were all shivering as the cold wind blew against our wet bodies. The boat had come to a halt at a small village because the waves were too big.

We saw a boy pulling a rope attached to a sampan as he made his way though the water which came up to his shoulders. Why would anyone do that especially in the rain? He was actually trying to anchor the sampan. This scene would never be found in Singapore. The children there have to make a living, and to them this is nothing. Imagine how much our mothers yelled at us when we tried to play in the drizzle....

You do not have to teach them customer service...and you do not need to fork out a single cent to pay service charge... yet you can get the best service from this crew of Barracuda Resort operator...
Eric, offered to buy Goreng Pisangs from the village. Like the boy, he jumped into the water which leveled up to his chest and waded 200m across to the shore. After some time, he came back with bags of fried bananas raised in the air, making sure that they don't touch the the saltwater, and waded back to the boat.

So nice to have hot goreng pisangs on a cold day.....

We continued the journey as huge waves surged into the boat...slippers floated everywhere...the sea was still rough and there were times I was pretty frightened. I shivered throughout the 3-hr journey and curled myself up..totally frozen.

Thank goodness...we got back safely to the resort before dusk.

11/9 ( Sat)

Our aim was to do 3 dives today before 1.30pm.
On my first dive, I shot up without doing any safety stop because my tank was low on oxygen...again and I was too light. On my 2nd dive, I did only 3 min instead of 20 min because I was left with 10 bars.....HQ stayed on to complete her safety stop but ran out of air too. YS ascended to grab a 2nd tank for her, when he's supposed to complete his too....
By then, my Nitrogen level should be quite high as I did not do proper stops on 2 consecutive dives...Imran decided to give our last dive a miss because it was too risky. One nitrogen bubble could have caused paralysis...


We went for a massage in the evening and came back to log our dives.

12/9 ( Sun)

Diving in indonesia makes u feel like a king....All you need to do is dive....No need to assemble, no need to change tank....they'll do everything for you...they'll wash your equipment and dry it for you. Excellent service.

We brought back nothing but fond memories....

Apprehensive about the trip?? PHS-pre-holiday syndrome

Yap...Dad just pop in to ask if I am excited about my upcoming dive expedition to Manado....Actually told him that I'm not as excited as I felt a few weeks ago....
In fact I was a bit apprehensive....
well, it's always been the case...for some strange reason, I'd always feel afraid and restless a few days prior to my trip...maybe I'm too homely....however there were exceptions....it depends on whom I'm going with...

Think I'm gonna be alone most of the time for this trip...gotta spare a thought for my couple friends whom I'm tagging along as the gooseberry...well, both of them are my good buddies...but they are too loveydovey to even take note of the bright bulb..oh well..:)

My gastric's not feeling too well lately, ever since the day I fainted...I've been feeling nausea and appetite is going down...However, I've been forcing myself to finish my meals to give me energy....

I wasn't really being myself for spending more time at home these days...especially this weekend...turned down 2 dinner appointments just to rest at home...But I kinda enjoy it...Really hate crowds..coz they make me giddy...

My body's failing me again...was on my way to work today and felt an acute pain in my right knee joint....*sigh* signs of aging....

The blue day will arrive in a few hours time...feeling more blue than ever because I've been resting too long at home...errm..actually no lah...been to work this 2 mornings...
But just not in the mood to work these day...getting slacker and slacker...just feel like dumping my work aside and go...but I can't...gotta explain and allocate my work to my colleagues and to rush as many things as possible within these 2 days ( cos I'm flying off on wed ) so that they don't have to cover too much of my work....

Rose is still in NUH...think she wont be back till weeks...AL will be flying off to NZ soon too...we are gonna be short-handed on top of my absence..poor Jean...

Called Qi just now...she was very upset cos her Godpa fell and hit his head...internal bleeding and got into a coma....he's going through an operation at this point of time and the chances are only 20-30%....I pray for him....

Alright....time to continue packing....

it didn't work!

Zoloft didn't make me any happier...still the same. Got an sms this morning from Auntie Rose hubby, Uncle Daniel informing me that she's hospitalised due to kidney stones...
Since I'm on MC, I went down to NUH to visit her.....

When I reached there, the hubby had left. She was having breakfast when I met her. She looked really tired. She was brought to the X-ray room for scanning and I followed. We waited a while for the report and I went out to make a call. When I came back, she got the film in her hand...I took it from her and see and realised that they gave someone else's film to her! Rose din realise because she didn't have her glasses on. We told the nurse and got it back eventually.

She went back and rested...I still feel a little weak because I realised that my hands were trembling a little while I was smsing..I left and went for a free session of lymphatic drainage therapy. It's said to improve blood circulation. I've made this appointment long ago and it has really come into use after my fainting frenzy yesterday.

They wrapped my thighs and tummy in those inflatable bags and applied air pressure to it...So it basically massages your whole abdomen and lower body with a series of inflation and deflation...I was told that it improves your lymphatic circulation to your lymph nodes.
Dunno how true it is but I can't really feel any effect.

Went home in a cab just in case I fainted again and had half a portion of my lunch and went to sleep...And the 2-hour nap made me feel even more tired now..

Trust betrayed...eventually led to fainting

I just found out yesterday that someone I was close to betrayed my trust.....Lies, lies and more lies...to think that I had been so frank and nice....what I got back was just a pack of lies... How would u expect me to trust people again??? Do I look like a fool?

Was so depressed today and took 2 days of mc...went to the doctor and he probed me into telling him everything. Told him was too stressed up by work but he feels that work-related stress doesn't really contributes to depression usually. He was right, it was some other matters. No matter how stressed or busy my work is, it never makes me depressed....at the most, frustration. Gave me relaxant and Zoloft; he said the latter might make me happier and more positive....and more refreshed at work. I wonder how it does magic.... cant wait to try...maybe i'll get high...hehe

Was very tired and slept when i came home...mum din cook cos i told her i'm on half-day off in the morning...so she expected me to buy lunch to work. Yes, din want them to know that I'm on MC due to depression..otherwise they'd get worried.

I had no appetite for lunch so went out with an empty stomach to meet a friend for blood donation. He's a frequent blood donor so i approach him since i've been wanting to donate blood a long time back..

But he was late, so I went to the nearest bakery and grab some bread before the donation. The donation went on without any pain...it was much faster than I thought and the nurses there are all very friendly and hospitable. But the needle was damn big! Bigger than the biggest I've seen at work...16G! But it pierce into my flesh without any pain at all. The whole process took about 10 mins and we went out for refreshments....the bandage was really cool with this Mr. Smiley face on it :) and it's bright orange!

We decided to take a train to bishan to have dinner. But i felt nausea before entering the station, so i rested a while. Took the train and felt really stuffy again, so got off after 2 stops and rested again...

Reached bishan, bought some plums to curb my nausea and went to coffee bean to chill out. I couldn't take tea nor coffee on empty stomach so i keep popping plums down my throat cos it makes me feel better.

Went to the ATM to transfer some money while he walked around...the lady in front of the queue was really slow and I began to feel like vomitting again...controlled myself and completed the transaction...

As I was pacing up to go to the toilet, I realised that my vision grew dark....I stumbled and fainted before I knew....The next moment, I heard voices, I couldn't open my eyes....but I heard this lady who keeps saying "OMG" and someone rubbing medicated oil on my nose and my sides....The vision recovered slowly and I saw this lady picking up my phone....I forced myself up and told her not to call....my parents shouldn't know....so i woke up and told them I was fine...even though I wasn't...I called my friend and told him to come. They helped me to a chair and i rested...

The security was informed and I was brought to their room where they offered me warm water....I wanted to go to the ladies...still...because my tummy was aching even when I passed out. The female security accompanied me in the toilet and waited for me for almost half-an-hour outside my cubicle...It took me alot of strength to finish that business and all this while I feel that I'm gonna pass out anytime...Then I vomitted all the plums that had been churning in my stomach....

I've learnt something amazing today....that a person's willpower and determination can really prolong his/her life....
Though I wasn't at the verge of death today..but I really felt the need to go to the hospital while I was lying in the middle of the shopping mall. I didn't want to get up because I was too tired and weak...and even broke out in cold sweat.... But I know that if I were to end up in the hospital, things are gonna blow up. So I forced myself to wake up.

My first instance of passing out was at home near my sink....I blackout and my dad grabbed me just in time before i fell...and the moment he does that, i told myself to wake up...and it doesn't take more than a minute to do so....but i gave them more than an hour of fright...keke

My friend was like, " I wouldn't dare to bring you to the next donation you know? "
haha...but i still dun believe that I'm that weak....i'll make sure i go on a full stomach on the next appointment.:)

Piglets out!

It's been more than 20 days that I last blogged... Things have changed for the better lately. My mood gets better and my workload has become more managable. Lately been busy with gatherings and buying gifts for colleagues and friend, attending farewell lunch, and birthday celebrations... Though my pocket got a big hole, I'm happy to be able to meet up with people whom I've not met for some time. Met up my primary school friends, colleagues from other the other dept and my ASHL gals plus Ivan.
Had a game of paintball at SDC wif my colleagues last Saturday. It wasn't as exciting as the one we had in Yishun though and weather was wet too. We had to end the game half-way but we were allowed to continue the next half some other day.
In the evening, I had dinner with my ASHL gals and Ivan. We had dinner at Werner's Oven. It's a German restaurant and the prices are reasonable. We had a cuppa at the Cheesecake Cafe and my goodness...the cheesecakes were fantastic! The boss was very organised despite the huge crowds. I'm going back there again!
This morning, I received an sms from my colleague telling me that our sow has given birth! She was supposed to due last Wednesday but we waited and waited, and there's no signs of piglets. My colleague and I resorted to talking to her, persuading her to push her littles out. Of course it did not work. We were told that if she keeps her foetuses for more than 2 days, she'll be in danger. Our vet administered a few doses of hormones to induce her labour and still doesn't work. But today, she gave birth to 5 cuties! I rushed back to work just to catch a glimpse of them and took some really cute pics. 2 were black and the rest were pinkish beige. So exciting...the rest of the sows will be giving birth 1 after the other in consecutive weeks and we are gonna have many litters of noisy piglets!

Loads of work and play

It has been a 7-day work week for me plus 1 overtime...Been coming back to check mice on both days over the weekends. Intend to claim one off day within this week.
Caught a Chinese movie which I thought wasn't worth $9.50 but since HQ wanna watch, so just went ahead wif YS and her. Met up Martin who invited us for a drink at Long Bar in Raffles hotel. The interesting thing about this bar is that you can have a free flow of peanuts and you can leave the shells freely all over the floor.
So this was the only time when we could grab a peanut and throw the shells over our heads without being fined. But being an anti-litter bug, I tried to be nice by placing all the shells into the ashtray...
To my surprise, the waitress came over an emptied the ashtray onto the floor!!!My goodness....all that for my thoughtfulness. Needless to say, I began dumping the shells onto the floor and throwing at my friends.

On Sunday, met YS and HQ again for ice-skating after work...This was my 2nd time. My whole body was aching throughout till now due to the falls. But i had a good time then.

Was feeling so lethargic on Monday yet have to stay back to wait for mice shipment. With the company of 2 other colleagues from the other dept who were also staying late , I dined at NYDC at Holland V. It was a hearty meal and we had back to work. The mice din arrive till 10-ish and we left at 11pm.

Only able to rest longer this morning with the half-day off.

Busy, sick, insomnia

I didn't realised that I can be such a workaholic...Or probably a way to drown off my sorrows..
If I've nothing on after work, I'll stay in the facility to reply work emails cos I seldom get to sit down at my table. There are times I was busy and my temper grew....My face got black...not a very nice sight for colleagues to see. But I'm grateful that they know I'm serious when I got down to work and they accepted my temperment. Actually, I felt happy when I'm kept busy... but I don't seemed to get tire out..or at least, my brain has been active these days...Not very good because I couldn't sleep well. Woke up 2-3 times in the middle of the night and unhappy things would appear in my mind again...but I guess life is getting a little calmer for me....
Caught a cold lately, my nose would either run or block, have been breathing thru my mouth these days. Guess my brain din receive enough oxygen, result in headaches.
But i rather keep myself busy than to take MC....
Was a little upset today by a colleague who seemed to take me for granted. I've been covering some of her work for about 3 weeks because for valid reasons. But now she's back to handle her stuff yet she expected me to do...Well, that's not really her stuff, it's our stuff...but I just can't accept it when she conveniently placed the form on my table and expected me to do it...I don't mind doing it, just that I hated it when people take my help for granted...Of course, I refused to do it...and expressed my displeased in a light-hearted way...The other colleague realised that she was a bit too far and chided her. They realised that I was pissed...but that gal left a blunt comment that makes me really upset...
We still talked as usual over lunch and I thought I might be too petty...eventually, helped her to run that errand in the end...
I'm looking forward to a break...or rather a short getaway off S'pore...had been planning trips but nothing seemed to work out...I need to dive....into the paradise where it's a totally different world.

Loads of eating and fun....I'm lucky

So, although I din managed to celebrate my birthday with my soulmate...I did have a happy birthday..
In fact celebration started on the 8th (Friday) all the way to the 11th (Monday).
8/11 (Fri): Since my parents were all born in the month of July, this family friend treated all of us to this chinese restaurant situated in the newly renovated Marina Square called some Imperial thing...But the food there was good and special. Had a sumptous meal though feeling a little moody.

9/7 (Sat): Things brighten up a little when ZZ brought me to the animal shelter to walk the dogs, the other friend couldn't make it last minute. There were so many dogs there as well as cats. I walked 2 dogs, the first one was a cocker spaniel and the second one was a much bigger dog...think he was walking me instead.
But I somehow still prefer the cats...they are all very friendly..they loved my shoes and all of them would crowd around my shoes and have a good sniff and snuggle. They are warmer than my snobbish Baby. Simply love'em
Afterwhich ZZ wanted to celebrate my bd for me so treated me to a movie: Romasanta-the werewolf hunt and Haagen Daz.
In the evening, I went to a colleague's chalet. In the midst of the BBQ, Michelle, whose birthday fell on this day, HQ and YS drove down to look for me just to cut the cake together. I was supposed to celebrate my birthday with Michelle had I not gone down to the chalet. They left for KTV while I stayed over at the chalet.

10/7 (Sun): Had breakfast with Jean and AL at Mac before going home. Met KT, who wanted to give me a treat at 3pm at BREEKS! in Ngee Ann City. She bought me a pair of earrings too! Weijie couldn't join us for lunch so we met for a drink. Met Qi for dinner at Crystal Jade...And it was a birthday treat too! She suggested to go for coffee at BakerzInn. Wanted to sit in but she insisted on sitting out..i tot she wanted smoke so I refused. She managed to come out with an excuse saying it was cold so I gave in.... She went to the counter to give her orders and came out with a slice of mango cake with a candle on it. I was surprised...well, it never occur to me what she was up to and that was the reason for sitting outside. Though it was a small surprise, it meant a lot to me. :)

11/07 (Mon): Went to work as usual, but in a very foul mood...maybe it was Monday blues~~~
Received a gift from my dear colleagues..Got a surprise mini celebration at the pantry...tho the person who tricked me din really do a good job, I still feel thankful.
Met ASHL for dinner at this very nice restaurant in club street behind china square...wow I din know that the ambience there is so nice, peaceful and quiet...Enough of Bugis and Orchard...
This restaurant called Windows serves nice Western cuisine at affordable prices. It seemd that we'd booked the whole restaurant because we were the only patrons then. However, the service can still be improved. The place was lit with candles but the music doesn't seemed to suit the atmosphere..we had a great time though.. I received a watersports wear to put on under my wetsuit when diving. Got another slice of cake wif candle that was complimentary upon request my the gals.

----End of Birthday Celebration----

Turning point

I've not felt this way ever since 2001....it's like de ja vu...losing a soulmate is as good as losing your soul...it's difficult now because I've to act tough and pretend as if nothing has happened in front of the ppl who cared for me. There things that I couldn't tell...

Guess I'd be spending the saddest birthday this year...
Given up a chance to spend it with the special someone, because I know it'd turn out to be a dream. If I were to turn up for the dinner, it'd be harder to let go after that... No doubt many friends are gonna celebrate it for me over the weekends, I was hoping to spend it with my soulmate...

I'm quite touched that many groups of friends make the effort to ask me out to celebrate, having no choice but to turn a few down...I know ppl there care about me, but it's up to myself ultimately to fight against my own emotions. There's a limit to care and help...Pple are too busy these days....Never expected things to turn out so painful.

Other than my heart, my lower back and right knee is aching.
Dad gave me a hard massage and found the sore sites in my bones and joints. Both occur on my right leg. Think I've been walking or standing too much at work. I'm still so young yet I felt that my body machinery is wearing out. My back hurts when it arches as I lie down or when I'm seated. My knee hurts when I walk...Sounds like I can't walk, sit nor sleep. :)

It's actually not that bad afterall...just minor aches that disturbs a little...I still function normally... what are these physical aches as compared to emotional torture?

I must free myself in a few weeks time....That's when my sea expedition comes in.

downhill

Things have never been worse for me ever since last week. Got badly hurt by some major event.... on top of that, my dear colleagues have moved to the other dept, leaving me lost for a day or 2...the whole place was so quiet and most people are new... But i guess, or I hope, things are turning better as the week approaches...gonna take a short break- half-a-day to rejuvenate myself and get out of some shit I'd gotten myself into...
Was so depressed that i had no mood to work, yet I can't afford not leave work now.. good friend of mine advised me to see a doc and get some anti-depressant...was tempted to but think i'm too egoistic to let the doctor know how weak and vulnerable I can be, emotionally...

Baby's recovered now, can eat and walk and even jump...very happy for her...

How i wished I can be like her....

Baby's probably down with a Stroke

Baby is an 9-year old ginger coloured persian cat I used to keep. But for soem reasons my dad wanted me to give it away. After sourcing for a long time, I finally got a kind soul to keep it for me- Alex. So baby has been with him for more than 2 years. Apparently the whole family has grown to like her and she began to settle down in her new home. Once in a while Alex would bring her to visit me and I'd keep her at home for a few hours before he comes to fetch her back home.

I received a call from Alex on Thursday and he told me that Baby is bahaving strangly, and doesn't follow him for food anymore. She began to walk as if she's drunk and her head is tilted to the right. She has lost her sense of balancing- which is the core ability of a cat...What can a cat when it can even balances itself?? She can't even eat because she can't even stand properly...and she doesn't have the appetite even when it comes to her favourite bak kua.

Alex and Wilson brought her to the clinic at PL but they could not do anything about her so they referred her to the hospital. What I was told that the vet there could not give a good explaination and diagnosis on her condition. What was recommanded is to admit her to monitor her condition and do some blood test. However the admission charges costs $70/ day which excludes all tests and medication. Alex wasn't really concerned about the costs but he wants to make sure that she recovers after all that can be done...But he was told that they do not know how long she'll be warded and they can't garantee recovery. This means that you can pay up to thousands and her condition might not improve. So Alex brought her home with 2 types of medication-a steriod to reduce inflammation in her brain and antibiotics to prevent secondary bacterial infections. I called up my vet friend and asked her what I should do. She told me that they might take some time to recover. But if I'm worried, I can do a blood test.

Alex was as worried as I was, so we agreed to bring to another vet in BT. The vet was more experienced she explained what might be the real caused and advises what she felt was feasible. Her condition is considered sever because it results in a dysfunction in her nervous system...it may be a stroke cause by a burst blood vessel or a clot in the vessel, resulting in lack of oxygen to one side of the brain. Doing a blood test can only show if her internal organs are functioning well. Her condition usually has got nothing to do with her organs, thats was why it might not be necessary. If I wanna check if there is a tumor or blood clot in the brain she would have to do an MRI scan which can amount from $700-$1000.

The only thing to do is to let her continue with her course of medication and pray for recovery.
On top of that, we need to force feed her to make sure that she eats to sustain. We brought her home and I force feeding her , she was struggling and dugged her nails into my hand. Ouuch... If i get a stroke tomorow, you know why..keke ;P

Broke after these days...

It's time to take things easy,
It's time to let go,
I've to make myself happy,
I've to find my soul.

Thurday's contemparary dance lesson was held at the Stamford Arts Centre.
I didn't enjoy it very much because I couldn't catch up with the routine.
It was conducted by Ricky, who has been teach the pros from SDTs for many years.
So it's kinda a rare chance for him to teach novices. It was stated to be a beginners class, but it turned up to be a begginer/intermediate class. Most of the students have been taught by him, but I've not.
I joined the class with LD and Dino who have been going back to TP to continue with Wai Yee's class even after graduation.
I didn't sign up because I know I can't commit the time. It's a long way back from my workplace to TP.
Nonetheless, I'll still attend all 6 lessons since I've already signed up. :)

Friday was a happening day. Knocked off at 5pm because it was Family day. We found out only on that day itself, and carried on with our outing to JB. 5 ladies and 5 guys all squeezed into this Honda MPV. The guys were quiet and sleepy while the gals were noisy and excited. We really made a lot of noise that the guys have to plug in to their MP3s to seek peace. Guess we are likely to be outcasted from the outing...heehee..

Reached Plaza Angsana at about 630pm. The guys can't wait to shake us off..." You all don't have to follow us, we'll meet up later at Dunkin Donuts "..." You wanna go by yourself? You gals can go shopping on your own..." Okie loh....dun follow dun follow lah! With growling stomachs, we ladies set off to have some snacks at Mac but turned out to grab a meal each.

There was nothing much to shop actually..the fashion there is quite..not-so-new lah...Because it caters to Malays more than Chinese. Hardly spot any Chinese there. Playing devil's advocate, Jean, Ai and I managed to make HY and Flo buy some clothes...I didn't realise that it's actually an enjoyment to see other people spend money..keke.
However, all of us went crazy once we set foot on the supermarket... Bought plenty of snacks to fill up our pantry.
All these potential aunties, including me, went busy comparing prices and buying stuffs that were on offer.

We met up the guys and were surprised that they bought more stuff than us. Had late seafood dinner and departed JB. Poor suzy has to send all 9 of us plus himself back home. I wasn't the last and reached home at 2 am.

Spent Saturday morning at the beach enjoying the blue sky and the beach. Gu was supposed to meet me up to help me source for my pc gadgets. But he came down with a flu so got CH to help instead. We met Joe at Bugis to shop for cat's present, met SL, Cat and bf at Geylang for dim sam...Not very nice...the one opp...the dao huay shop. Had durians following dinner. They suggested to play mj...I was quite tired and wanted to go home since my house was quite near...eventually drag myself to join them after some persuasion...

Didn't realised that it was a plot...I was a novice and had been paying school fees to these mj freaks all this while...ended up being the big loser...$8...but it was all for the fun of it..and cos' it was our Cat's bd...so gave her face loh..right, cat? ;P

Sunday was tuition day...met HY in the afternoon. She wanted to try out, so I brought her to my beautician. Got a promotion due to the GSS, quite worth it...seems like HY was quite impressed after the whole thing...no more blackheads. Went to PS again to check out the staus of my phone under servicing. It was not ready still... so I went on to check out the phone I wanted to get ...I was lucky because the price had dropped $30 due to the GSS too. Because this was the last day of the promo, I decided to seize the privilege and got it...

Maybe it was out of rashness, I realised that it wasn't as good as I thought. The colours were quite dull even though it was a 1.3 MP camera phone. Think I better keep my Samsung phone which has a much better resolution. However, the new phone didn't turn out to be that user-unfriendly...it's quite easy to use with basic functions. It looks pleasing to my eye too. Got a complementary SPA voucher and some discount vouchers. Enjoyed a 1-yr free caller ID instead of 3 months too. It's still worth it afterall since I did not pay too much for it....At least this new toy can keep me occupied for the next few days. :)

I'm defeated

I've played a game and have lost...
Knowing that it's just a game, yet I took it too serously...
Knowing that I'll never win, I kept fighting...
It's not call fighting spirit but ignorance...
I lost badly...

Like a crippled cat, I can't walk, not even limp...
It was nothing but agony...
My legs are everything...
Now left with nothing...
Will some kind soul put me down?

I've no courage to face it,
yet no courage to die.
When will the sun emerge from the clouds ?
When will I see the clear blue sky?

I'm back!

Yes, I'm back after being MIA for a month. Fancy blogging at this hour-0115hrs...
Work had been hectic and stressful for me initially due to shortage of manpower. To add on to my burden, I received 2 sad news - YS dad passed away... Went to the funeral after a long Saturday's work... Met YS and he greeted me as if nothing has happened, looked as cheery as ever...even smiled more than i did... Talked to Wendy for a while and realised that he was putting on a strong front...I was affected but tried to take things normally.

A few days later, found another funeral below my flat....being a nosey parker, I'd usually pop my head in to catch a glimpse of the photo of the deceased. But I decided to change that rude habit of mine and took the lift up without looking at the casket. I began to feel uneasy the moment I caught the sight of red-coloured papers pasted along my neighbours' corridor. Those red papers signifies that someone on that storey had just passed away. I saw the cable connected from the wake at the void deck to my neighbour's flat, rushed home, expecting my dad to break the news to me...I ended up breaking the news to them. But we were still uncertain, hoping that it wasn't the auntie that always bring food for us. My dad confirmed the news the following day.

We were told by her husband that she passed away very peacefully in his arms. Seems like she knows her time...she gathered her children over the weekend for dinner and passed her jewellery to them telling them that she doesn't need them anymore. She has been unwell ever since CNY but as a staunch buddhist, she still visits the temple. Before she left the world, she requested for the husband to clean her up;wipe her body...that was the first time she got her husband to help ever since she fell ill. After washing up, Uncle carried her onto her bed and before he could put her down, she murmured some prayers and told him that she's leaving...

I wish I can die in the arms of my loved one too...

In the meantime, my dear friends had a hard time contacting me because my phone died too...was told that it was an internal problem and they are still repairing it till now! Rose lend me her nokia hp but I've got no charger at home. I only have the chance to charge it at work. HY offered to pass me her spare charger but I turned her down because I expected my phone to be ready within a week.

I had been out of town too for a week, which explains why my phone was off. Carol had been trying ways to get me...sms, voicemail and email...cause she tot I went missing..keke...so sorry. Had a good one-week getaway...couldn't decribe how much this vacation means to me, felt so relaxed over there. Hated coming back but I know my dear gals had been covering my work for me. Thought I'd feel rejuvenate, things seemed to have gone a little haywire due to my absence...not the lab can't do without me, but I had been handling some stuff and I wasn't there to deal with them. Well, things are ok now...

Sometimes I expect alot from myself, and would expect alot from others...A friend of mine was a little stressed out because she feels that she couldn't meet up to ppl's expectations. Although she claimed that it was a general statement, I would not dismiss the idea that I might be the main culprit. Please do remind me to be less assertive if you guys find me acting that way k?

I guess my stomach doesn't like to be back from my vacation. It's been upset ever since I got back to work on Monday. My stomach seldom aches if I need to go to the toilet..but the pain just comes suddenly these days.
To make things worse, I suffered from gastric pain last evening, before attending a wedding dinner. I sat through the dinner with my family, restlessly. took 2 antacid tablets from my aunt before dinner, but it doesn't seemed to help. Good thing was that the pain wasn't as excruciating and acute as my previous attacks ( my last attack was years back), it was gradual. I was determined to recover to join my colleagues in the Big Walk.Took another antacid tablet the moment I got home. The pain stopped at before 1 am....phew...but I didn't have a good sleep though.

This year's Big Walk resumed to 10km instead of 5km due to the collapse of Nicoll highway last year. The stingy organiser did not provide enough water at the water points and we were left with apples! But we had a good breakfast after the event. Don't be surprised to see another layer of tan on me!

Events over the week

Wow...it's been about 10 days ever since I last updated my blog...Will be a little more conscientious in updating it since some people are actually reading it. ;)

It's been a long day for me...running between the cage wash area and the sterile prep...a little short of manpower...did some weaning and topping up of food and water for my mice. Was supposed to give tuition to my students but they had something on so cancelled it, leaving my Friday free yet boring.

Had been slightly eventful for the past week....Lets see...

15/04 (thur): Went to Derrick's hs to celebrate Thong Eng's birthday...wierd? No it's not...Derrick's house is the place where the people always gather...His wife, Janet was pregnant and would be due in a week or so. We had sumptous dinner followed by a DVD movie session- School of Rock. Hey this show really rox man! I wasn't keen on catching it at the theatre simply because I don't like ROCK music....but it turned out to be good! For those who have not caught the movie, go grab the VCD or DVD...trust me, it worth watching.

16/04 (fri): HJ, Yu and I went to little India to shop for indian costumes to wear for our Annual DnD taking place the following Wed. I had a bet with SV that I'd wear saree on that day with a stake of 3 meals. HJ was looking more on Punjabi. When we got there, we were kind of lost..... There were thousands of different sarees ranging from $7- $200...I didn't know what to get. I wanted to try on one but we found out that we've gotta pay for the saree before trying out. This made me hestitant. What happens if I don't look good in one? I wouldn't want to spend too much on something that I'd only wear once in a lifetime.

As I was unsure, we ended up buying nothing and settled dinner at one of those Indian eateries. I do have a Punjabi as a backup which I had borrowed from Carol but it was a little loose. I told the gals that I'd probably end up wearing that prepared to lose the bet.

17/04 (sat): Met poly friends for tea then went down to Clarke Quay to have Indonesian food. Choon was driving so it was easier for us to move around. Sent Cat home and ended up playing mahjong at her house till 1am...As a novice, i had an excuse to lose..lost $4.90. Choon was the big winner, but it's fair cos' he's gotta send us home too. We treated it as payment for fuel and transport.

18/04 (sun): usual boring sunday where I gave tuition for the whole day..met ZZ for dinner at the newly renovated food court at Marina Square. Chilled out at pacific coffee, one of my favourite hangouts. It was one of the rare times where it wasn't crowded... Chatted a lot... felt melancholic after that...

19/04 (mon): SV agreed to meet us gals at little India after work..he gets to leave early because he starts work early. He claims that his friend has a shop and would be able to get a discount for me. So after work, Ai, Yu and I went down again. But we did not managed to meet SV cos his phone was off. I was frustrated that i couldn't get him and decided to kick that saree idea outta my head. The gals refused to let me give up because they wanted to see me in it. I got one in the end for only $15, but that stupid shopkeeper refused to teach me the steps on dressing. He gave me an instruction sheet and asked me to read it instead.

In order to keep me accompany, HY went on to buy a yakata at Bugis so that I don't feel as if I'd overdressed on that day. I went home and tried figuring out how the Indians find their way to tranform a normal piece of cloth to a wonderful dress..took me quite a while, but got it almost there~~~

20/04 (tue): Met my soulmate after work and chilled out throughout the evening.

21/04 (wed): Found out that my phone got hanged and died in the morning...terribly annoying..
We were granted early knock-off to prepare for the DnD. Went to Ai's house to dress up. I was so afraid that I'd overdressed and was very self-conscious....
To my surprised, there were many others who were more flambouyantly-dressed, an I wasn't the only Chinese who wore a saree..In fact, Cheong Sams were rarely seen that night and Indian costumes have shown to be in trend. As usual, my jinxed luck got its way of preventing me from winning anything in the lucky draw when the numbers before and after mine have already been drawn. Though I left the ballroom empty-handed, it was satisfying to see colleagues and bosses get their brains off work and show their less restrictive side.

22/04 (thur): My saree and I intruded into the topics of my colleagues at work today...Kinda found out that there's still room for improvement in tying the saree...It's ok, i still won the bet with SV...haha..and i got my first pack of wanton me for FREE!...2 more meals to go...It's all worth it;P.