When 2 become 1

We had our usually gatherings at my grandma house on the 1st day of CNY. I'm always the first to arrive followed by my cousins, who would bring their spouses along. This year was different. Sis ( my cousin ) did not bring hers along. All of my aunts asked her why but her answer was soft and reluctant," Oh he went to visit his friends ". Sensing something fishy, I approached her at a corner and asked the same question. " He probably would never come with me anymore..." was her reply.

Still in disbelief, I asked if they had a fight. She told me they had "everything settled" and waiting to move back with her parents. He initiated it. This was worse than I thought. I was supposed to keep mum about this matter to all our family members that were present. As I attempted to offer some consolation, she revealed that she was feeling fine, relieved, in fact. And that she expected this day even on the day of her marriage. It just happened that this guy came along and there was not much of an option and they were so used to each other that they decided to try living their lives together. And they had to end this after 6-7 years? 

This is certainly not the most pleasant things to hear before I get hitched. My colleague used to ask me this question a few months before her wedding, " How do you know if you've found the right man?" My reply was," It not a matter of finding the right man ( cos u'll never know ), but how to make your man the right one." It was so easy to let those words flow out... But not when you are applying it to yourself.

Marriage, to me is also a gamble. You'll never know if it'll work out until you really try. No other kinds of love, other than maternal love is everlasting. Feelings fade. Honeymoon periods pass. And that's why people who were so deeply in love during their vows exchange end up in divorces years later. What were the main reasons? Money? Personality clashes? Extra marital affairs? When u are in love all these money issues can be sorted out, differences can be overcome. But when feelings diminish.. everything becomes a problem, an excuse, a reason to break away from each other. 

So what's in for a marriage? Commitment, responsibility, acceptance and ethics. Will a different form of love evolve to replace that kind of Lovey Dovey Love? What is your take?