I've not felt this way ever since 2001....it's like de ja vu...losing a soulmate is as good as losing your soul...it's difficult now because I've to act tough and pretend as if nothing has happened in front of the ppl who cared for me. There things that I couldn't tell...
Guess I'd be spending the saddest birthday this year...
Given up a chance to spend it with the special someone, because I know it'd turn out to be a dream. If I were to turn up for the dinner, it'd be harder to let go after that... No doubt many friends are gonna celebrate it for me over the weekends, I was hoping to spend it with my soulmate...
I'm quite touched that many groups of friends make the effort to ask me out to celebrate, having no choice but to turn a few down...I know ppl there care about me, but it's up to myself ultimately to fight against my own emotions. There's a limit to care and help...Pple are too busy these days....Never expected things to turn out so painful.
Other than my heart, my lower back and right knee is aching.
Dad gave me a hard massage and found the sore sites in my bones and joints. Both occur on my right leg. Think I've been walking or standing too much at work. I'm still so young yet I felt that my body machinery is wearing out. My back hurts when it arches as I lie down or when I'm seated. My knee hurts when I walk...Sounds like I can't walk, sit nor sleep. :)
It's actually not that bad afterall...just minor aches that disturbs a little...I still function normally... what are these physical aches as compared to emotional torture?
I must free myself in a few weeks time....That's when my sea expedition comes in.
1 comment:
Losing a soulmate is the hardest thing to do. If this was truly your soulmate and you know it, then I know what you are going through. I know what you mean when you say it crushes your heart. Don't pretend that it didn't happen. Here's what you have to do: You have to make a choice about growing from it or getting worse. This is not about your soulmate, this is about you. A soulmate is a bonus in life, but life itself is a gift and you must appreciate it and enjoy it first and foremost. It won't be easy to meet somebody new and love then the way you love your soulmate and I know that this feeling my destroy you, but if you first ground yourself and appreciate life, then this won't destroy you anymore. Ground yourself. And trust yourself. Never deny what you trust to be true. When you trust yourself more, you will grow and from there things will happen...
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